Pete the Homeless Guy

For the past few weeks, on my way home from work, everyday I pass by an older homeless man who sits on the corner in the same spot like clockwork. He's at least in his late 50's, with a long wiry beard and skin reddened by the sun. At first, I would just ignore this guy but felt bad for him, but the more I began to see him everyday, the more and more I began to take interest in him.Who was this man? What's his story? Why does he sit in the same spot every day? More importantly, does he know Jesus? I drove past him one day and saw him sitting in his usual place, and as I drove right past him, I felt this insatiable nudging, almsot as if an inaudible voice was saying to me "buy him food". Now, I'm extremely broke from college right now, and I'm hurt for cash. In my mind I thought: "this guy might actually have more money on him than I do right now". The feeling remained. It burned in my mind all day at work the next day, and even when I got home. Today, I decided that I was going to listen to God. On my lunch break I drove past his usual spot and he was there, so I went to McDonalds and got him a burger and a large Sweet tea. I had no idea what was going to happen, I had all sorts of scenarios and thoughts playing in my mind, I didn't know if this guy was nuts or anything, but I was intent on doing it. As I drove to the spot where he was and he was actually walking down the street towards the store, I quickly parked and caught up with him. As I approached him,  he noticed me and watched as I came towars him. I could clearly see his face. It's a face I'll never forget. It's been weathered from age and the sun and a hard life. He had deep sunken eyes that have seen better days, he had scars and boils on his face. He had a tattoo of an anchor on his arm that was probably as old as he was. He carried a jacket on his shoulder, and when I spoke with him, he had a voice that spoke with utter disdain. I asked him his name, and he told me it was Pete, and I then asked him how his day was, and that's when he let me have it, I did not see this coming AT ALL.

"I'm F%$#*^@ pissed man" he told me. When I asked why, he told me about a guy who asked him for a dollar then took 3 instead from him to go buy him a beer. He told me that he was waiting for the guy to come out so he could "kill him". He noticed the bag of McDonald's I had and said "I'd sure like to eat something right now". When I told him that I got the bag for him, he couldn't believe it. He took the bag and drink with sheer joy, after letting out a vulgar squal of delight. I appologized for what the man that took his money did to him, and then he noticed a prostitute walking down the street, and told me of how he would like to defile her. I knew what I was getting myself into, but I never thought this would happen. Pete was a vulgar guy, that has been on the streets for a long time. I didn't mention Jesus or God or anything. I just wanted to show him that he hasn't been forgotten about. That peopel still care, and that God loves him. I told him not to hurt the guy too much and I told him goodbye. He thanked me for the food, and walked with me back to his spot and to where my car was. As I drove away, I watched him drink his sweet tea, and he gave me the thumbs up. I don't know if that is the last I will see of Pete, but I do know that he is very far away from the heart of God. I just wanted to love on him for just a little bit. Althought the meeting didn't go as I quite expected, at least I know that he ate that day. When I got back to the office I prayed for Pete, and told myself that I would pray for Pete constantly. I don't know what impact I had on Pete, but I hope it's a positive one. I pray that God moves in a major way in his life.

I'm glad I lisened to the Holy Spirit. I might have saved a guy from a beat down.

Luke 3:11 " John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.”

Rebekah Elizabeth

My life story isn't what you would consider a happy one. My life has been riddled with heartbreak and pain, confusion and loss. Before I had no idea who I was or why I was or what my life would look like later on. I had this unending feeling of loneliness, that even while I was surrounded by people that I love very dearly, I still felt alone. Being a Christian, I was subjected to the usual cliche encouragement of "Oh don't worry, you'll find someone". I never truly saw myself loving anyone the way that I wanted to, but that all changed when I met the love of my life, Rebekah Elizabeth.

Now, I know what you're probably thinking, and maybe you're right, "wow Zach, such a sappy introduction"...well yeah but hey, it works. How I met Rebekah is something straight out of a teen movie, and nothing short of God's work in my life. I met her on the very popular site Instagram, but I actually knew her from high school, where she was literally the hottest girl in the school. Instagram is mostly used to take pictures of your food and give it a crappy sepia tint to it. Anyways, one day I come across this girl who out of the millions of people on instagram, she stops me in my tracks and catches my eye. It was one of those gay movie moments where the guy sees the girl and time stops all around him and all he sees is her, kinda like in Fast Time At Ridgemount High when the chick steps out of the pool in super slo-mo. I immediately knew that she was the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen in the entire world, the kind of girl that is light-years out my league. So, I began the pathetic and almost laughable attempt to get her attention by occasionally commenting on her many pictures of her posing, saying STUPID things like "wow...you're really beautiful" (actual quote). To me, that wasn't sufficient to tell this girl, she was more than just "beautiful", she had this ineffable grace and beauty about her that was just so sacred, that no amount of words could ever describe her or bring her justice. I was in love the moment I saw her, and crazy as it sounds, I knew somehow deep in the recesses of my mind that I knew I had to have her as my own. She was the only one to this day that still has that effect on me, where I have everything I want to say, but can't say it because she twists my tongue up. I had no idea what she thought of me, and truth be told I thought she thought I was creepy and that was going to be the end of it, that the girl that I wanted most whom I had no idea who she was but still wanted her was going to bid me farewell...but no. She surprised me, she gave me HER number and decided to text me....What? I was shocked. She made it easy for me. Then she takes it a step further by telling me she wants to go out with me...OMFG VICTORY!

Before I actually see her at Panera (I know fancy right?) , I start hyper-ventilating, I actually had to calm myself down and tell myself to act cool. She gets out of the car, and there she is, she was beautiful...and shorter than what I remembered, and I hear the softest, sweetest most angelic voice I ever heard in my life, the kind of voice that a mother has to calm her child, like a soft breeze in the grass. Her voice was kind and gentle, it was pure and sincere. It made me melt honestly. I feel in love with it, and to this day, when I call her (SPOILER ALERT: We are together btw) I always get that same effect. To me, it's the best sound in the world. She was funny! My GOD was she funny. We hit it off immediately, and all my initial fear just melted in that sweet soft voice, I knew from that moment, that she was the one for me. I knew I loved her.. I found the girl that I've been praying about since I was 13 years old (when I finally decided that chicks were my new thing.) I always imagined in my dreams that I would be with a woman with dark brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, a wonderful body, a sweet voice, but most importanly...a big heart. With me, looks don't apply (although they DEFINITELY help). Someone who loves me for me, and not what I have or what I do. Someone who cares for me and takes care of me. Rebekah is and does just all of that. She is the perfect girl to me.

Fast forward a couple months and here we are. I fall in love with her every single day that I'm alive, and I have decided WAY ahead of time that she was it for me. I want to make her my wife. I always knew from the moment I met her, that she was the one. This love is real. It's not some fairy tale bull, or puppy love, half-ass romance, this is something real and alive. God has blessed me with something that I never deserved, but now that I have I am never letting go. She puts up with my weirdness, my awkwardness, and sometimes my straight up retardedness, but in the end we both love each other. I'm in love with this girl, and I want to spend the rest of my days with her. I want to be the man she always wanted and needed. I want to be wanted by her. I want to make everything better for her, and give her a new life. I want to wake up every morning next to her and hold her from behind, kiss her softly and tell her while she's half-awake that I love her, and that I'm hers. I want to always make her smile, the smile that makes my whole world bright and my heart drop to my feet. Whenever I'm with her, my heart races, and whenever she's not there, I miss her. Not in the normal sense, I miss her like I miss a part of myself. I'm not me when she's not here. I find identity in her. I've never in my entire life been this happy and found soo much joy.

Bekah, I know you're reading this. We've had our moments babygirl, you and I both know that we're not perfect and everything won't always be perfect. But I just want you to know that I love you more than anything else in this world, I made a promise to you.
A promise to always love you, no matter what
A promise to always be there for you
A promise to accept the good and the bad
A promise to be faithful
A promise to be loyal
A promise to never leave or give up on you
A promise to come after you, and that we'll always be together

I aim to keep these promises. You're perfect to me in every way, and I wouldn't change a thing about you except your last name (that's gotta go). I love everything about you, from your long hair that gets in my face when we snuggle, to your perfectly kept eyebrows, to your soft and SEXY lips (OM NOM NOM NOM) to your beautiful amber/brown eyes that I get lost in, to your perfect smile that shows your perfect heart, to your southern accent, to your quirks, to your heart melting laugh that's contagious and all the other things I can't fit on here because I'm getting carpal tunnel from typing all this. I'm in love with you, and I choose you, always. You're it for me babe, and I want to be it for you. You've saved my life you know, from misery and loneliness. You're my whole entire world, and nothing will tear us apart.

Rebekah Elizabeth, I can't thank you enough for changing my whole world, and I'll never be the same.
I love you.

Life Investment

As followers of Christ who have been found by God, we are called to go out and find people who are far away from His heart. People matter to God, therefore they had better matter to us. I'm not just talking about Christians either, the lost matter to God as well. So many times, I've seen churches forsake the Gospel and close their doors to the world and just worry about the salvation of those who have already received it. The Gospel is much more than a sermon in a pew or singing songs. It's about actively and intently loving people with the love of Christ and showing them what that love looks like in the kingdom of God. For God so loved us, we who are born of Adamic blood, that is the blood of Adam who fell in Eden, He actively and passionately pursued us, so much so, that He gave apart of His own self to die through the redemptive act of the cross. Those who have accepted Christ as Lord, are commanded that we do the same. Christ paved the way for salvation, and thus we must continue the work and expand His kingdom. Not for the sake of numbers for the church, but for the sake of numbers for eternity. Everyone needs a rescue from something, whether it be sickness, addiction or pain. Life change is brought only when surrender is given and trust is established. Often times, we forget that it is God who saves, and not us. In order for found people to find people, we have to invest in their lives.

People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. Before "popping the question" so to speak on a non-believer, a connection and relationship must be established. It is symbolic with your relationship with Christ. You know Him through His word, accept Him by what He has done, and trust Him in what He will do and what He promises. One of the key principles in discipleship that is crucial to not only in growth with ourselves and God, but with others and their relationship with God is community. Community with other believers to not only worship as one body but also to grow in relation with others as God commands and to grow in relationship to Him. Small groups are an example of this, where we hold each other accountable and exchange wisdom in areas of struggle. Also, community with non-believers, that is, in the sense of intently seeking relationship and reaching out to that person. It can be intimidating, sharing your faith with someone who has never heard the gospel, or someone who is familiar with it and chooses to reject it, which is why building relationship is soo crucial. For 3 months, challenge yourself to find just one person, and just invest in that person. What does it mean to invest? Just like when you invest in a company, it collects interest, and often times it will go through seasons of change and fluctuations. Investing simply means that you realize that the person you are investing in, matters more to you and to God than your own self. To invest simply means to sacrifice your time, talents and maybe even finances at times. Time is the most critical. Making yourself available to someone shows to them that they not only matter to you, but also to God because you took the time and effort to actively pursue that person, and God will honor that.

I often think back when I first accepted Christ. I remember sitting in my uncle's living room, unsure of what I was getting myself into. He read me a couple passages of scripture and at the time, I'll be honest, I had no idea what any of it meant. One thing that stuck out the most though was he took the time with me, and I knew he cared about me. It can be real easy to open up the bible and throw out every verse you can think of, but if that heart is not prepared for it, then chances are it will not recieve it. Love never just happens, it is learned. It is taught. To be do-ers of the Word, and not just hearers, We must know what it means to obey and teach what Jesus taught. How can we do this, if we don't know what He taught. In order for us to pass it on, it must first be in us.

Thank you for reading, God bless you.
If you would like prayer, please send me a Facebook message.

Love Sparks

How does one measure a day? Is it by seconds? Minutes? Hours? Or is it measured by something more? Something more than mere digits. Something timeless. For me, it's measured by brief moments where time blurs out of focus and all recollection of it fades. It's a smile, it's heartbeats. It's love sparks. A day in my life holds no adventures, and no adventure can truly describe one's self. It's in the small things that I truly show who I am, from laughter to butterscotch kisses. To moments shared with someone laughing over absolutely nothing. To moments when you first wake up, and the first thing you hear a voice like a song sung to you as a child whenever you felt alone or afraid. A voice that makes you feel.  When you're with a person that matters most, time holds no bearing, nor does it have meaning except when that moment is as it's end. When time was all you had to worry about, schedules, meetings and deadlines, to have been met by one that makes all of that not matter anymore is something ineffable. To have been met by one that changes your entire life the instant you encounter them, that give you a whole new perspective on everything. Someone who unknowingly heals the wounds in your soul left by others with false promises and shattered memories. Love is waking up and feeling the warmth of the person next to you, or the soft kiss in the dark of the night that sends you into a trance of reliving the day just spent. Love, as God intended, permeates the soul and instills in you the desire to be better for that person. Love isn't in the fear of losing that person, but in the security of knowing you won't. To truly experience this is one of God's greatest gifts and pleasures, that has unfortunately been taken for granted or perverted into something else entirely. It's the collection of the simple things that magnify the bigger things. I can honestly say in my own personal life, I have been met by one who does this for me daily. Someone for the very first time, I can look at and admit what my heart has been desperately desiring to admit. I can admit what I feel to her whenever I look at her, with no fear of rejection or judgement. I can for once be myself, and she gives me freedom. She has given me a joy and happiness that I've never experienced outside the glory of God, and she gives me peace. She is everything that I ever hoped, asked and prayed for. To me, she means the world.

Men are often looked down upon for admitting what they feel, because it's often viewed as a sign of weakness and vulnerability. This is a lie developed by the enemy. I see it as strength. A form of freedom and masculinity in the form of the love of Christ. Women are something to be treasured and celebrated, not seen or viewed as what the media depicts them. They are to be enjoyed and cherished, not scrutinized or "fixed". Adam was with Eve in the garden when they fell, and rather than pointing the finger they both took the fall. He was there for her. God calls us to "Love our wives as Christ loved the church" (Eph 5:25) Which would mean sacrificing everything for her. In certain translations of the Greek use of the word "love" in this sense, it is literally translated to "to love dearly, to be well pleased or contented with something. Beloved." God desires all of us to know and be known intimately without fear of rejection or judgement. I thank God for bringing her to me, and for allowing me know someone like that. Someone whom I can share adventures with, laugh about everything and just enjoy life abundantly. A person where laying in bed with for hours is more appealing than a night on the town. Someone to worship the God of the Universe with, and bring glory to His name and make a difference in the lives of others.

Rebekah, if you're reading this, I love you darling. Thank you for coming to my rescue, and being everything I've ever needed.

Making Space

This month my church Northstar is doing a series entitled "Make Space" and is basically going to be explaining how to make space in our lives and remove the unnecessary clutter that sometimes takes up our time and energy. This series couldn't have come at a better time for me because I have SO much clutter in my own personal life that it's not even funny. Last year especially, came with a lot of baggage. Last night at worship rehearsal at our East Bay Campus, Pastor Adam Carter rallied the troops as he always does every Friday night with an encouraging message and a take charge speech. He shared that he recently cleaned out his garage and it gives him the peace of mind knowing that a lot of the useless, unnecessary and unneeded junk was removed, and he now has room to invite people over for ping pong. Although this is seems like a trivial thing, it's very indicative of our own lives.We get so caught up in business meetings, traffic, errands and commitments that we fill our lives up with a hectic schedule and a busy attitude. The more room we take up with these things, the less room we have for ourselves, and more importantly, less room for God.

I had lunch the other day with a long time friend and spiritual mentor of mine, Eric Schrotenboer. This dude has been with me on my walk with Christ from the beginning and has been such a huge blessing to me in my life. When I first met Eric, I knew there something different about him. It wasn't him that was different but something through him that I couldn't explain any way but different. At the time, my walk with Christ had literally just begun and I wasn't at the level of understanding what it was that set him apart from every average person I met. Eric made time for me, no matter what was going on. If I invited him to an event, he would show up. He never said I'm too busy or give me a false yes, he showed up every time. To this day, if I ask him to go to lunch, or just to talk, he'd make time for me. This is SO critical in making relationships with people: making time. Being available to someone means more than "rain check". Being available speaks in volumes to someone more than it is apparent. In the life of Jesus, He always made Himself available. To the blind man, He didn't say that he would catch him later, or that He was too busy. To the leper, He didn't say that He'd love to but _____. He made time. Now, many will argue that Jesus didn't have a job, or kids or school or family to worry about, and while this is true, Luke 9:62 tells us "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God". Basically, if you want to make or keep relationships, you better be available.

I always enjoy having lunch with Eric because whenever we get together we discuss life, theology, ministry, the places we've been and stories we have. I love having lunch with any good friend of mine because in that moment, we are experiencing what God desires for us: community. Which also is a foundation for discipleship. In that moment we both take a small pause in the busy schedule and just breathe and enjoy the simpler things in life that God offers to us freely.Salvation and Discipleship are 2 different things. Salvation is a free gift, we can choose to accept it, but discipleship is a choice that we must diligently work at. We can be safe  by ourselves with eternal life, or we can go out and touch a life who in turn might touch another life, and then we eat at our table in Heaven with all the people we loved in life that we took the time to reach. Community means making time. Relationships require time to grow and to work. Time means being available. Being available means making space. How do we make space? That starts by looking into ourselves and recognizing what needs to go. Do you really need that 3 hours of tv? Or can you call a friend and ask how you can pray for them? Simple things. That's all it really takes. In my own life, I have a lot to sort out but the important thing is I'm making the time to do so, and that is where God comes in and takes care of the rest.

Looking Back: 2012

God has been doing amazing things in the life of Northstar Church, and to hear our lead pastor Marty Martin share such amazing testimonies throughout last year was truly a surreal moment. Last year, over 1,000 people have accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior and close to 200 people have baptized. We were not only able to launch the East Bay Campus, and it get it started, but also the Panama City Beach Campus within such a short amount of time, that I could describe as God's timing and blessing. We were able to raise $2 million dollars through the faithful giving of our Bold Love initiative, and give $15,000 to build 2 foundations for 2 houses for Habitat For Humanity for 2 families. We were able to buy a toy for EVERY single foster child in bay county, which was well over $3,000. We were able to start 2 partner churches in Boca Raton, Florida, and in Boston, which is 2 demographically unchurched areas. We were able to provide our adopted village in Kiu, Kenya with the means to have clean drinking water to be processed throughout the whole village. I can help but stand in awe of what God has accomplished through our church, and it's very amazing to know that God has blessed us to be able to not only spread the Word, but live it out and love on people and help them to see Jesus. I started going to Northstar well over 3 years ago now, back when the Panama City Campus was just regular Northstar, and the idea of starting campuses haven't even been conceived of yet. Back when they had Axis Student Ministries. It's very surreal to think that now we have 3 campuses around our city to be able to go directly  into the different communities and minister to the lost and the needy. To be beacons of hope in the community, and not for the glory of our church, but to see God and His Son glorified through us. That is why I love and serve so faithfully in my church, because we are a church that exists to help the whole find and follow Jesus. Northstar is a place where everyone is welcome, nobody is perfect and anything is possible. We exist to serve and love not only our God but our fellow neighbors. Northstar is a church that gets it, for me. I am honored and blessed to be apart of it, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us this year in 2013. I am ready to see lives changed, chains broken, and people set free. Until the whole world knows about Jesus, we will not stop doing what we're doing, and to me, that gives me life more abundantly.

Sinful Piety

As a bible college student, I may not know everything there is to know about theology or God's grace just yet, but one thing as a sinner that I am familiar with, is sin itself.

Sin

The very word itself seems to have an ominous resonance to it when you say it. A sort of hushed word that no church-goer wants to hear, thus they whisper it like it's Voldemort from Harry Potter. It's a thing every human being struggles with in their day to day lives. In certain translations, sin literally means "without", or "without God". To sin, is to basically drive a wedge between you and the Father. Sounds depressing doesn't it? To think, that no matter how good you are, how much mass you attend or serve in a ministry, you fail God every single day. Is all hope lost? Are we doomed to be failures for the rest of our sinful little lives? Well, in a sense: yes. Does it stop there? No. You see, in order to embrace God's grace and forgiveness, you must first understand sin. In order to know peace, you must first know chaos. It's a cause and effect relationship. Without chaos, there would just be peace, just as without sin...we wouldn't need Jesus. Now, I'm not saying that sin is of God, because it's very clear in God's word that He hates sin. In fact, sin is what separates us from Him, but in order to know Jesus, we have to know sin. We all know sin, we are born with what is know as "Adamic Blood", which is basically our bloodline that ties us back to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The sins of our father, to put it poetically. Pretty much we are born failures, but thankfully through the blood of Jesus Christ, we are redeemed and given life. To accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are pretty much signing a contract with God, stating that we give Him full ownership of our lives, as He deems fit. To do so, opens up so much more meaning and purpose.

In my own personal life, I have had to deal with very painful things. My mother has mental illness and is fighting depression everyday. My father takes medication to keep his heart working, and has numerous health afflictions. Dad was never home, he was always working making sure that all our bills were paid, because we didn't know if we were going to have our house one month to the next. Mom was always sleeping early because she didn't have the will to move or even live, so she copes by sleeping. My brother, wants nothing to do with me, or my life. For 17 years of my life, I was pretty much by myself. We stopped celebrating the holidays together as a family. This past year, my mother tried to take her own life, and I live with the fear of one day coming home and finding her dead. My dad, has struggled with mental illness in his family for 25 years with his own father, and thought he would never have to deal with it ever again. My home life isn't the worst, but it's not the best either. Why am I sharing all this? Because I have made it my life's goal, to make sure that everyone I meet or come into contact with, meets the God that I serve so that they can know peace and escape pain. So that they don't have to know the pain that I've experienced. I live to see life change. Before I met God, my life was in shambles. I hung out with drug dealers and dope pushers. Done acts that I'm frankly not proud of, and things that I've knelt before God and asked forgiveness for. I've experienced freedom in the murdered Son of God, and I want the whole world to know it too. The day that He found me, was the day that I truly started living. God gave me purpose that I never had, peace that I never knew, and love like I've never experienced.

I will not rest until the lost know Jesus. That is the mission and the promise that I have made to God, and the purpose that He has given me. It breaks my heart that there are people in this world that hurt, when the rest they are looking for is found in a baby in a manger. I'm not perfect because I know Jesus, but God is perfect because He is in me, and through Him I have everlasting joy. We sin every single day, but God is good enough to forgive us every day, because there is nothing on this planet that can ever separate us from His great love. That is the most beautiful thing I have ever come to know. To rest in the fact that no matter what I do, God still chases after me, He believes in me. A curious yet captivating concept to embrace: God believes in me.

"God made everything out of nothing, so while we are still nothing, He can make something out of us" --Martin Luther.

His Love

            Tonight I felt an overwhelming need to talk about what many of us do not fully understand, and fewer of us even know: the love of Jesus Christ. Now, before I begin I want to disclose that this is not just a vain attempt to try and pass myself off as a "true disciple", and that I know everything there is to know about the love of Jesus. Nor is this just an attempt to publicly flaunt my love for Christ so that you might, for some strange reason, think more highly of me. Let me just say that I am infantile when it comes to truly understanding the magnitude of the love of Christ, and that I am motivated tonight to share what revelation came to me. Jesus came into the world as a servant, when He could have chosen to come as a king. He washed his own disciple's feet, sat with sinners, and hung out with lepers and disease ridden people who were ostracized from the community. The truth behind the love of Christ, which awestruck me more than anything else, was...He didn't care. He didn't care who you were, what you've done, why you did it, who you did it with, when you did it. None of those things mattered to Him. He just loved without ceasing. Whether you were Jew or Gentile, it didn't matter to Him. What even struck me more was, He loved us before we were ever born. "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you..." it says in Jeremiah. He knew me, and who I would be, and what I would do...and yet He loved me anyways. So much so, that He chose to take to the cross and die for me. Now that's a love you can't touch. A love you cannot honestly say that you can begin to understand. Jesus knew exactly where He was going and what was going to happen when He got there, the whole while being beaten and taunted by those who worshiped Him. The very same people that called Him Lord, cried out: "Crucify Him!". Yet He stilled loved them. He loved the ones who murdered Him...and here I am holding a grudge against someone who was a little snooty with me today at work. Who am I to cast judgement and disdain to this person? We often times proclaim the excuse "I love people...but some people make it hard to love them". No, it's YOU who makes it hard to love them. Because if the love of Christ isn't in you, fully in you, then it will never be manifested to them. You can measure your love of God, by how much you love people. The ENTIRE book of the bible, the whole summary of the word of God is summed up in this one commandment: "Love God and love others". It doesn't say: "Love God, and love SOME". It calls for us to love everyone. Nothing mattered to Jesus. He didn't care... because He cared. Forgiving those who wronged you in the past is one of the biggest barriers we set ourselves up to not love other people. Reflecting on what Jesus did on the cross for everyone, even those who murdered Him, helps me realize that Jesus didn't die JUST for me, but everyone. The fact of the matter is I let my ego get in the way of God's will and command for my life. There is a song by Downhere that sums it up pretty well:

How many kings step down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become least for me?
And how many gods have poured out their hearts,
to romance a world that's torn all apart?
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?

I can't let who I am get in the way of who God wants me to be, and I can't let my ego or selfishness hinder my love for other people, when there is a God in heaven who in enthralled with me and every other person on this planet that He made. A pastor and good friend of mine once told me "If people can't see Christ in or through you, then you're doing it wrong". I still have much to learn about the love of God, but the ultimate example of love is sacrifice. Love is giving, yet desires nothing in return. Glory to God's murdered Son, who paid for my crimes and opened up the gates of Heaven, so that I may not live in eternal darkness from my Creator. I hope that each day that goes by, God would grab hold of my heart and show me what it truly means to love as Christ did: without conditions or requirements. I may never be able to love in the same capacity as Jesus did, but I'm going to get as close as God will possibly allow me to.

Desert Moments

In our lives, we all experience some sort of conflict or struggle. We come to the place where we feel overwhelmed by the circumstances, and don't know exactly how things will turn out.When you think of the desert, what comes to mind? Well, it's a desolate, barren and unforgiving wild place that certainly will kill you if you're careless. It's big and dry. Nothing but a sea of sand, not to mention the animals that can kill you. Blistering hot during the day, and bone chillingly cold at night. Not exactly a place that I'd like to spend a weekend at. So, why the desert? In the bible, almost every single person that God called for a partnership with, went through a desert...and quite literally:
Moses fled to the desert for 40 years after killing an Egyptian
David fled to the desert to escape Saul
the apostle Paul was in the desert near Damascus for 7 years
Jesus was led by the spirit into the desert and was tempted by the devil

See the pattern? The desert keeps popping up.What's so special about the desert? To me, I believe that there are 2 reasons: One, So God can alone with the person so they can experience him personally. As John Elderidge once put it "You don't encounter the Living God at the mall". Two, because it becomes a testing and training ground for the person struggling. It's like basic training that God puts you through to prepare you for the task ahead of you. Take Moses for example, he killed an Egyptian slave worker after he saw him beating a Israelite. He fled to the desert and became a shepherd for 40 years, then he encounters the Lord. Why a shepherd? Well, what does a shepherd do? It leads a flock and keeps them together. Moses had to learn to have a shepherding heart before he could lead his people, who soon would become God's people, out of Egypt, out of slavery, and out of the influence of the false Egyptian gods. The desert was training ground for Jesus, and the ministry God was calling Him to, as was with the apostle Paul.

I say all this to finally come to the real reason why I am writing this blog. This past July, I experienced one of the biggest desert moments I ever faced, and I'm still facing it today. This past July my mother attempted to take her own life. She cut both of her wrists and slit her throat. I received a text from my dad while I was at work that only said "Get your aunt to take you, mom is in the hospital". My mom fell down the stairs earlier so I figured that was the reason why, so me and my aunt both get to the hospital only to see the look on my dad's face that I have not seen in a long time, and only once in my entire life when his brother died. He took one look at me and went out the door without saying a word. At that point my brother broke the news to me and my aunt that she tried to kill herself. I'll be honest, I lost it. I cried immediately. I was an emotional wreck. My mother had been diagnosed with clinical depression for over 10 years after she lost both parents in 1 years time. A million thoughts ran through my mind and I'll be completely transparent when I say that God was not once on my mind. In fact, the first person I called to find comfort from was my girlfriend, Zoe at the time. We went back to see her, laying in a bed on suicide watch. I saw the cuts on her wrists and throat. I couldn't look at her. I was crying so hard. I had to leave. My dad escorted me out, crying with me. In all my years I only seen my dad cry once, and that was at his brother's funeral. I fled to my proverbial desert. I tried to seek comfort at the house of my girlfriend. Not once did I cry out to God, in fact I didn't even think of Him. Fast forward a couple days. She got released from Emerald Coast Behavioral, and she was like a new woman I never met. She was smiling and giggling and...happy for once. She was the mother from my childhood. I was never close with my mother, a thing I regretted once I found out the news. After everything happened, I sought out my spiritual mentors for guidance and counseling, as I always do. Let me take a moment just to praise God for the people I am glad to call my mentor. Without them, I would truly be lost. Truly, it was a traumatic situation that left a wound on my heart, and while I am glad she wasn't successful, the pain is pretty overwhelming. My eyes were opened that day. I can now relate to those who may be experiencing the same thing. I have another testimony. My desert moments aren't over, but I know that God is equipping me for the ministry that He has called me to. Whatever desert moments you may be experiencing in your life, just stop for a moment and ask "What am I being prepared for?".
I leave you with this final thought, a thought that David had when he was in his desert moment:
"The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You. " --Psalm 9:9-10

 

Defining The Line

Imagine a little boy around the age of 6 years old. Young and innocent, he goes into the bathroom and stumbles upon daddy's collection of porn magazines. The dad, to his shame, catches the boy looking at the images confused with a sight that he's never seen before. The dad immediately snatches the magazine away from the boy and tells him "This is not how you love a woman, son. This is smut and it's wrong". 

The little boy was me. 

I think at one point, almost every male has undergone an addiction to lust in some shape or form. Whether it be through pornography or just drooling over a scantily clad Victoria's Secret model, wondering what she would look like without the napkin barely covering her dirty parts. Men, by nature, are horny creatures. How this is happened, I don't know, but that's not the issue here. We have taken a very gift from God, and we have twisted it into something completely disgusting. Lust is one of the 4 weapons that the enemy uses against us.
Fear
Lust
Anger
PrideI'll never forget what my good friend Heath Taws once told me: "The enemy has the same old tricks, he just uses different mediums". The internet, television, etc. Media is the biggest source of pornography. In Ephesians chapter 5 it talks about "Adorn the amour of God, so you can protect yourself from the schemes of the enemy". Most folks focus on the amour of God, but I think it's the schemes we should focus on.
So how does lust start? Well, it starts with a wound. Lust is mostly associated with the wound of acceptance, wanting to be accepted and to be intimate. As such, there is a cycle that happens with masturbation and it goes like this:

Step 1: The trigger - something triggers the lust
Step 2: The action - you give into the temptation
Step 3: The guilt - you feel ashamed of what you did
Step 4: The regret - you regret doing it, and vow to never do it again...then the cycle repeats itself

God created sex for man and woman to be intimate. It is the very glue of a marriage. Now, let me stop for a moment and clarify something:
Sex is a action
Making love is spiritual

Sex is nothing more than 2 people coming together for a common purpose, but for self satisfaction. To put it into perspective, imagine 2 people robbing a bank. You don't rob a bank so that your partner gets all the loot, you team up so you can get your share, then you part ways. Same with 2 people having sex just for the rush and the feeling.
Making love is something entirely different. It's deep, passionate, shared and intimate. It is 2 people coming together for a common purpose, to enjoy each other as God intended us to do. God made women in His own image. Loving, nurturing, beautiful. All these characteristics reflect who God is. Man was created to be strong, courageous and daring. Men love adventure, risk and a challenge. Why else would we climb Mount Everest or jump out of an airplane? Sex, to the lustful man, is the challenge and the thrill that they seek. The instant pleasure. The acceptance they crave.

Let me draw a line: There is a difference between admiring beauty and lust.Women are beautiful and there's nothing wrong with recognizing that, but when you take her beauty from her for your own pleasure, then it becomes lust. You must learn to draw that line for yourself. Men all have a natural propensity to lust, but we also have the choice to break that propensity.

One of the most defining things for me that I've learned is that God gave us free will, which means He gave us the option to reject Him. Imagine that, the Creator of the heavens and the earth could have forced us to obey...but He didn't because He loves us that much. God doesn't cause any of us to sin, it is by our own choice. When Adam and Eve was in the Garden, God didn't force them to obey, he merely asked of them one thing: Don't eat the apple. One simple little act of obedience towards Him. He didn't force them, He gave them a choice to either obey, or reject. So we must get to the place where we must ask ourselves, will I obey God? OR do I fall into the scheme? Remember: You have the power of choice. 

 

 

Moments

How does one measure a day? Is it by seconds? Minutes? Hours? Or is it measured by something more? Something more than mere digits. Something timeless. I believe we all live for moments. Moments where time blurs out of focus and all recollection of it fades. Moments that get engraved into our hearts and minds forever. For me, it is the moments that take my breath away and truly bring out my entire self. These moments define me. Today, there was this woman at my church, now many people come and go and pass through and I give them the tradtional "Welcome to Northstar!" but there was something different about this woman. My eyes singled her out from the crowd. Now, she wasn't attractive to where this would be typical guy behavior, my eyes singled her out because I saw that she was hurt. Not physically, but spiritually and emotionally. She had a face that I've seen before, one that's seen it's fair share of pain, but a smile that put up the false guise that she was "okay". She had a broke foot, and was supported by crutches. I dropped everything in my hands to go to her, I felt compelled to help her. God's spirit led me to her. I held the door open and held all the items that she could not carry and helped her to a seat. As I walked away, she asked me for my name. I told her and left to go back to work. As the service started I sat in the back while she sat in the front, meanwhile the whole time her face was engraved into my mind. I felt a faint whisper telling me to go sit by her, so I did. We did not say anything during the service, but when Ray prayed the prayer to accept Christ as savior, I heard the sobs of a woman who was done hurting, who was done trying, who was just done. They were sobs and cries of surrender. When it was over, she told me that the message she just heard really hit home for her, and it had a huge impact on her heart. It was warming to hear those words. She then asked me if she could get a ride to the beach baptism being held at St. Andrews State Park at 5pm. I promptly told Ray who set up a ride for her. As I helped her to her car, she told me that she never experienced such kindness and tenderness from anyone, and told me how she broke her foot. She fell out of a 3 story balcony while drunk. She said the message spoke to her directly. Her life was a wreck and she wanted better. She then made the decision to get baptized in the name of Jesus. Before she drove away, I asked her what her name was, and she told me "Evette".

Evette, I just want you to know, that you are in my prayers, and also in my heart. My heart is overwhelmed that God has put that calling on your life and I am excited to see what He has in store for you. It is my fervent  prayer, that He dramatically changes your life to where You cannot deny Him, and it makes your past just a memory and all your sin is covered by the blood of the Savior, and you can look to the future with hope as a redeemed child of God. Evette, I live for people like you, and I thank God that I played a small role in His plans for you. I hope to see you again at Northstar one day, and I hope to stand by you as your brother in Christ.

To God be the glory forever.

Apart Of Me

It's awfully funny how we put on different masks in our lives to accommodate the situations or people that we're around. We like to hide the parts of ourselves that we feel may be "too extreme to handle" for public consumption. To quote A Few Good Men "You can't handle the truth!". We most often do this when talking to girls and on dates with people we barely know, I'm guilty of doing it. Sometimes a chick will say something that will stir my inner nerd to quote a really obscure Star Wars reference or compare it to something geeky that they probably never heard of in their reality tv watching lives. So now whenever I get the urge to yell out what my inner dork is saying, I have to stop myself and tell it "dude, shut up". Whenever I go on dates, it's almost as if I want to censor everything I say, lest I say something completely stupid to make her think I'm some kind of serial rapist or really lame guy. Mind you, I don't try to be somebody I'm not and pretend and lie, I just don't fully let her see the "whole" me. At least not just yet. It's a slow and gradual process. I've noticed that a lot of people do this, or even go so far as to be somebody that they're not, as if they really are a football playing astronaut surgeon that saved a bus full of orphans and kittens and volunteers at the Rescue Mission everyday. While I don't do that, I do try and keep myself "bottled in" for fear of judgement or criticism. We all want to impress our date, it's just human nature. However, I think we've taken it to an extreme of competition with ourselves. This insecurity in us makes us doubtful in the person that God has created us to be, or shaping us to become. When we can't even be honest with ourselves, then how in the world can we be honest with God? I read somewhere that we don't really mature, we just learn how to act in public. The pressure of the date can be a huge stress factor on anyone because it's almost as if we try and play to suit the likes and wants of the other person, rather than just letting each other find something that they like about each other. In every date, there is always the one person doing the majority of the work, I believe that 80% of the time, it's the guy, and I think it should be this way. Men are called by God to be the breadwinners, to be the leader of the household, to be the one his family looks to. He has the obligation to pay for everything because that's what chivalry is. I'm trying my best to prove that chivalry isn't dead. The horrible thing is though, at least for me and 99% of Christian God-fearing men is that society has twisted lies into truths, and truths into lies. You see, in today's world, especially prevalent in the teenage community, it is almost frowned upon to be a Christian. If you don't drink in today's world, you're a heathen. If you don't do drugs, you're a blasphemer. If you don't have sex, then you will be damned. These things make it hard for many of us to look for a partner, and while we should always rely on God to help us find one that suits us, dating can still be a dangerous thing. For many people out there have adopted the "half-way" doctrine of faith where "Oh I believe in God and I love Him, just not enough to do what he says and I'm going to do my own thing because I have problems with authority, control and daddy issues".

Getting back to the masks thing, I think we all to some extent do it. To impress new people into thinking more about you for that first impression. For that girl you just met and really like so you strut your feathers to try and lure her into your trap. It's a difficult thing to do, but we have to stop doing it and just let ourselves be who we are without fear of any ridicule. You are who you are because that's who God made you. Period. Be happy with who you are because we are all different and beautiful in our own way and that's what separates us from everyone else. The circumstances of your life and the experiences you've gone through have all played a part in shaping you into who you are now. Be free and learn to let go, and have a little fun living.

Life Giving

I had lunch today with one one of the greatest dudes I have ever met in my life, who not only one of my major influences in my life and mentor, but also a good friend whom I love like family. We strive to have lunch together as much as possible to catch up and talk about our lives and about God. We went to Ghengis Grill(amazing btw) and we talked about some things but then he said something truly profound. Life and God are all about wilderness. Think about this for a moment, Moses was lead for 40 years into the desert before God called him to lead his people out of Egypt. Jesus was lead by the spirit into the desert for 40 days to prepare for what the Father had called Him to do. the apostle Paul spent 7 years in the wilds of Damascus to prep for his mission. It's all about the desert. What that means for us is, when we are at our lowest point, when we come to the place of complete surrender, to where we feel like nothing else could get worse, that is where we hear and see God the most. You don't find God at the mall, or at Ray Ray's house, you find Him in a place of total seclusion, away from prying eyes and vibrating cell phones and Facebook.

In Israel, there is a tree known as the Acacia tree. It is truly a remarkable tree because it is literally in the middle of a dry and hot desert with no water in sight, but somehow manages to produce green foliage on its branches. To the shepards and people of the Old Testament, this tree was life. It gave shade during the day, it was food for the sheep and animals, it was wood for the fires. This tree was literally a life giving tree. One of the most beautiful pictures the bible paints can be found in psalm 1 or Jeremiah 17 where it basically says the same thing: "

Blessed is the one 
    who does not walk in step with the wicked 
or stand in the way that sinners take 
    or sit in the company of mockers, 
² but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, 
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, 
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.

Now, the tree this passage talks about was the Acacia tree. You might be thinking "but it says it's planted by streams of water, but there are no streams in the desert?" That is because the roots of the Acacia tree are deeply rooted in the soil, so deep, that it finds water deep underground and that is how it bears fruit all year long. The same goes for us, when we are deeply rooted in God's word, no matter the storms or deserts we may go through, we can be life giving to those who are also in a desert. We can give shade to those who need it. This life that God has called us to is not always easy, but when we are rooted in truth, there is nothing that God cannot equip us to do. It is better to live a life fulfilled, then a life full of regret. I've gone through a lot of storms in my life, but I know that my God is greater, and I am called to something that I can't even begin to fathom. 

A Better Love Story Than Twilight

Isn't it curious how when you're single all you see is cute, adorable couples that taste what the other had for lunch in public and do cutesey little things for each other and laugh and look so perfect? When you just sit there like "yup...just gonna enjoy myself here...alone." It's those times where YOLO really stands for "You Only Live Ostracized. But when you're in a relationship, it's funny how all you see is single girls that are either cute, or girls that you wanted to date before, but now can't because you're caught in a current commitment. Now, don't misunderstand me, I'm not trying to say that girls are all-you-can-eat buffets that you just get you a little bit then move on to the next piece of meat down the line. I'm just saying before you date someone, the girl that you previously tried to get with, is suddenly single and you find out that she liked you all along. Today I aimlessly meandered around the mall, mostly to clear my head. Why I chose the mall, I'll never know because it's not exactly the best place for spiritual healing. I kept running into people that I went to high school with, most of them I tried to avoid eye contact with and act like I didn't see them...you might think that is rude but I just didn't feel like talking to a person I barely knew, reminiscing about things that I don't even miss when I could be staring at things that I can't even buy while pondering the greater mysteries in life such as "I wonder what would happen if they made a Star Wars 7?" But I digress...Getting out of a very serious and committed relationship has taught me that being alone sucks. Friends are cool, yeah, but having a person of the opposite sex that has a deeper understanding of who you really are and how you really feel about things gives you a sense of security and grounding that makes you feel safe. That makes you feel secure in who you are and that if something goes wrong, you know the first person you can go to because she knows how to make you feel better more than anyone. Women are amazing creatures. God has created them to be nurturing and caring and kindhearted souls that have a mothering side to them. Mind you, not every girl is in tune with this instinct, but that's what separates the girls from the women. I sat by this REALLY beautiful and fine chick today at church and it totally distracted me from worshiping. I don't know who you are mystery girl, but you are super fine...again, I digress. I guess what I'm trying to spit out of this totally desultory blog, is that being alone really allows you to focus on who you are and what you're doing. I've found that I have more time to focus on God and what I'm currently doing and where I'm going than just living for the moment. While I don't enjoy being alone, it has shown me that I'm not dependent on no one but God. It has shown me that I love my most recent ex very much..but I love God more. It's a tough thing when someone asks "Would you give up God for me?" I never was asked such a question in my life. Most of you would have immediately spat out "NO NEVER!". I'll be honest...I hesitated. But my answer was always no. My answer was God. It's a tough life that God has called me to, and to everyone called to ministry. You have to give up soo much. To give up the "normal" life. Normal is relative but the major consensus is "I believe in God, but not enough to go to church or follow His will or read His word or give up sex,drugs,alcohol and everything else". When one is called to ministry, you have to give up everything that our greedy little bodies desire. There are things that I cannot and will not do because of my faith...and I'm ok with that. I am perfectly content knowing that I am fulfilling God's will and purpose in my life, even if it costs me everything I know. I had to basically give up my first love because of it. I'll be honest, it's not easy following God sometimes. Circumstances arise that leave you wanting and questioning, but it is by faith alone that I keep moving. I'm happy with who I am and what I want. Life sucks sometimes but I don't let it get to me. There is always something bigger and better on the other side of anything. We as human beings have the natural tendency to want things, even if it's bad for us and we know it. Most folks are perfectly content with believing in a God, but half heartedly. There is no such thing as half-loving or half-believing in God. With God, it's all or nothing. You can't say "Yeah I love God" but go out and wake up in somebody's bed that you don't know, taking pills that you don't have a illness or prescription for, or drinking things that make you do stupid things. Moses didn't, Job didn't, David didn't, Abram didn't and Jesus CERTAINLY didn't. If Jesus even had to pray, then what makes us any better? Why shouldn't we as well? It's God or bust with me.

Who Are We?

I never want you to think that I have my life together. That I know exactly who I am and that I have my stuff straight. There has never been a moment in my life where I looked into the mirror and recognized who was staring back at me. Sure, I have a better idea than I did a couples years ago, but I find that it's in the life defining moments where I have to make a life changing choice that I lose my sense of identity. I'll be honest, I am who I say I am. Trying to keep up this image of what I want you to think of me was too exhausting, so I gave up a long time ago trying to keep the masks on. What you see is what you get and I can assure you that my Facebook page accurately describes who I really am. Everyone is so concerned about the meaning of life. I don't believe that it can be compartmentalized into one idea; I think that it is a individual synopsis that is defined by our experiences and individual purpose in life. My idea of the purpose of life may be different than yours, and I think that it's a beautiful thing. To have something that I can call my own, to be sure of something. We all make choices, big or small, everyday that define who we are and what we believe. My purpose is to serve the Creator that made me, and to spread His light everywhere and to everyone that wants to know Him. To change and influence lives into something better, to inspire and encourage hearts that were once broken. My whole capacity in life is to love. Not for selfish glory or even to be liked, it feels good yeah, but I would much rather be respected than liked. I want to love and be loved by everyone that I meet. I love the people that most cast out, I love the people who don't love, I love the person I haven't even met yet. I love the homeless man on the street, to the point where I want to show him that God and humanity hasn't forgotten about him. When people look at me, or hear my name, I want them to think of Jesus.

I also live for personal love. Intimacy. To be who I am to someone without fear of rejection or criticism. I am a hopeless romantic who often fantasizes about things that most guys don't. Don't get me wrong, I have a life outside of a relationship, but I constantly think of new ways to make my significant other happy, even at the cost of my own. I live for the moments most people would take for granted. To share every moment of life with another person. I live for the sappy crap that most couples find repetitive or superfluous. I live for the moments where I look into the eyes of the person I love the most in this world, and stare back with a reciprocated love. A love that is uncompromising and unconditional. A love that's seen pain but has been set free. To see a smile that I know that I put there. These things define me. I'm not perfect, nor do I ever claim to be, but I try to be the best me that God has intended for me to be, and the best that I can possibly strive for. I don't live for the approval of others, it's too exhausting, but I do live to be known as one with no negative tags that have been placed by my mistakes and my mistakes are many. Life to me isn't about who you were or what you've done, but about who you are now and what you're going to do. Like I said, I haven't figured everything out yet, but I take my life one day at a time.

A Kick In The Teeth

You know sometimes, when things are hardest for us to deal with, we try to hide and cloud our judgement behind rationalizations and justifications that ultimately make us loose all common sense and clear thinking on the matter, therefore creating our own realities that we would like to believe and so we do so we can cope with our problems, rather than just looking at the naked truth square in the face. It's a horrible situation to be in, when we lie to ourselves and trick us into thinking about maybes and "what-if's". It's like the rebellious teenage boy that the parents always try to pass off as "just a phase" rather than give the lashing that he deserves. The mind has a funny way of tricking our own conscious to the point of complete denial. How do I know? Personal and recent experience my friend. Luckily, God shook me and told me to wake up and see things for how they are, rather than how I would like them to be. One of my beloved mentors whom I consider like a second father to me, who I can always rely on to kick me in the teeth with some honest yet painful truth, showed me how things really are. I always tried to play off my problems as if they weren't my fault, and the world was just out to get me. That's dangerous thinking, as that can lead to a narcissistic and selfish point of view. He showed me that I am where I am because God put me there for a reason, and will keep me there as long as He decides to to keep me there. I was looking for a way out rather than a way to make the most of where I was. A sort of Macguyver approach if you will. It was a humbling experience for sure. My mentor also asked me "What kind of car do you want to be?" After giving him a blank look of total disbelief that he would ask such a strange metaphor, I finally told him my answer. I told him I wanted to be my 2005 Toyota Camry. Simple. Humble. Gets from point A to point B. Nothing too flashy, but nice enough to get the job done. To which he said this: "If you want to live like a Camry than do it, but if you want to live like a 600 horsepower Ferrari, than you better have 600 horsepower under the hood instead of running like a stock pinto". Enough of the car references. In essence, he basically said that you need to live according to the lifestyle that you have chosen, rather than looking for something that you're not. Trusting God lately has been the hardest because at times I don't always understand my circumstances or even know where He's leading me. Blind faith is the hardest faith to keep. God has granted me a peace and understanding that transcends any understanding, even when I'm at my breaking point and on my knees, that is where I experience Him the most. When it seems like I have nothing left, God shows me that I have everything in Him. In truth, I don't know if my circumstances will ever improve, but I know that in the end I will be ok, and that God is with me and that is enough for me.

Giving From the Heart

I'm the kind of person that will look for opportunities to give, even when I myself don't have the means to provide sufficiently for myself. I've been like that ever since I was a kid. God gave me the opportunity to give a whole heck of a lot this past week. I am what you might call a "avid Goodwill giver type dude". In fact, I like to go on what I like to humorously call "Goodwill Hunting". (I know you love the pun, came up with it just now and I feel proud of myself) Anyways, I give quite a bit to Goodwill. I cleared out my closet last month and gave half a box of clothes that I had to say my farewells to as most of them were from when I went to Kindergarten (I haven't grown much since then, just put on a few pounds). So I either outgrew them in size, or outgrew my general interest in them by saying "Good Lord, what was I thinking when I bought this??". I work at the Public Defender's Office, which is basically the po' man's law office for when folks get into trouble and can't afford themselves a fancy expensive "real lawyer" as they call so lovingly coined them.Working in a law office I have to be dressed in Sunday best up until casual Friday, which is my personal favorite day of the week, and not because we have a weekend to look forward to. (Thanks Rebecca Black). I only own 2 dress shirts, black and white. Not very exciting is it? Especially when I sweat in this damnable Florida Hell heat in a shirt and tie, which I think is made from the hairs of polar bears on their menstrual cycles. I digress. With only 2 dress shirts available to me, that mean I have 2 days to be dressed in something different so that people don't go "ewww he totally wore that yesterday!" Because that's the kind of people I work with, they do it to our IT guy...I've seen them do it. So I was in dire need of some dress shirts, so the Good Lord provided, as He always does. One of the attorneys that I work with, who happens to dress the best in the whole office, decided that he was going to clear his closet and give me, and I quote "A couple shirts that don't fit me". I was like ok, sure, cool. Little did I know the adventure I was about to embark on. He leads me to his car where there were 5 very large hefty trash bags FILLED with stuff. I mean, shirts, pants, shoes. This dude gave me the full monty.  Long story short, I found 30 dress shirts that fit me, and donated the rest to Goodwill. God had blessed me with a lot, and instead of keeping all of it, I gave some back. I think that is indicative of our lives. God will bless us with something extraordinary, and we honor that by giving some of it back. I think it was a test from God to see how humble I was, and to see if I could be trusted not to be greedy. It taught me a lot about God's character and about giving from the heart. I was thankful to Him that He would provide the opportunity to be able to give such a large amount to those who barely have anything. All in a day's work.  

Finding The Balance

Christian teens today are suffering from a type of depression that, although not a true medical disease, it still takes its toll on their mental and emotional lives. It is a battle like I like to call "Christian Equilibrium". It's basically the idea of determining how Christ-like to be toward secular and non-secular friends. It's like when trying to find the perfect temperature in the shower between boiling lava hot or blistering blizzard cold. We all know that the little sliver of perfection is hard to obtain in the first place, and thus will compromise with a lukewarm temperature. It is the common fear of being outcast whenever they bring up the "J" or "G" word. The common pathological misconception is as follows: "Well, if I act TOO Christian, everyone will think I'm goody goody and will think that I think I'm better than them, but if I'm not Christian enough, they will think 'is THAT how a Christian is supposed to act?' and judge my every move and not want to follow Jesus". So they're at a catch 22 here. (Btw I never understood why it's called a catch 22?) Dealing with it alone can be very dangerous, as many will get frustrated and lose their faith altogether, or many will just lose their minds trying to find that perfect Christian shower temperature equilibrium that's just right. How does one solve the mystery of finding that perfect shower temperature Goldilocks porridge/chair/bed perfection? Well fear not kiddies, I think I may have found a plan. Let me first disclose that this is not THE only way to hack it, but it is nonetheless, worth a shot.

Step 1: Reevaluate what you believe, and prioritize your...well priorities.
So what DO you believe? That Jesus died on the cross for your sins. That He is your Lord and Savior. That He rose again on the third day. That God comes in 3 forms. Good. That pretty much sums it up right? Well...no it doesn't. Ok, what else? Matthew 28:19 says:
Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. 
Encouraging right? Especially that last part. But does THAT sum everything up for you? Not really. Just kind of a vague command right? The above Scripture is known as the great commission, and basically it tells all followers of Jesus "Hey, forget who you are, what you have, who you know and why you have it, drop everything and go find people who do not know Jesus and TEACH them to obey, even if it makes you uncomfortable or even kills you. Who cares what they think?". A little scary am I right? Many teens don't like the idea of dying, and even more teens dislike the fact of leaving their Xbox or their girlfriend that they just met and fell in love with a week ago behind (I'll admit, it's hard for me to put Skyrim down for 5 minutes). Let's look at what Jesus said about it, Luke 9:23 says:
Then He said to them all: "If ANYONE would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me". 
Yup. Pretty specific. Jesus once again challenges us to deny ourselves, which basically forces us to prioritize what we consider important in our lives. So really think about what is important to you, and what you believe. Acts 1:8 says
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria , and to the ends of the Earth.

Step 2: Read your Bible and see how Jesus dealt with things.
Who better to teach us about who Jesus is than Jesus Himself? Teens today struggle with the fear of being judged, ridiculed, harassed, outcast and being called a hypocrite, but Jesus went through the same thing. The only difference was He wasn't afraid because He knew what was important to Him, and that was doing God's will. Back then, the Pharisees HATED Jesus because He basically told them that everything that they had believed and practiced through religion was wrong, and He gave His own twist to their culture. Jesus broke some of the laws that the Pharisees thought was the most sacred. Jesus ate on the Sabbath, didn't wash His hands before He ate and so much more. He healed the blind, sick and lame, casted out demons. He kept calling Himself the Messiah, which they didn't believe Him because they weren't doing what they expected Him to do. See, the prophesy basically called for a Savior who would unite all the kingdoms of Israel together through force, it called for a militaristic king, but Jesus came as a humble servant. At that time, they did not know He was the Son of God. So basically, they didn't quite get along too well. But Jesus still treated them with love. Matthew 5: 43 says:
You have heard that it was said 'love neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you. 
I know that after you read this verse that you immediately thought of someone you totally do not like right now, and that's ok. It is a hard concept to love one's enemy, especially if that said enemy had been talking that smack behind your back. Ever heard the phrase "kill them with kindness?" Well that's where that comes in. We are all called to love as Jesus did, as God the Father did. Think about it, if God hated us, he wouldn't have sacrificed His only son to die for our sins so that we may live with Him for all eternity. So what good does it for us to hate people just because they hurt us? And if you don't forgive those who do you wrong, neither will God forgive you. It says that clearly in the bible. It's hard for us to forgive because when our pride is broken, we take it personally. We care soo much about our self worth and image, that we often will shun others who dare to compromise it. We think we are better than we are. If you cannot forgive someone who you consider to be your enemy, it is because you do not fully understand the redemptive work of Jesus Christ on the cross at Calvary, and the sacrifice that was made. My advice? Read the Gospels and look to the cross until you have enough forgiveness to forgive others. Basically, "Forgiven people, forgive people".  Back then, the Jews and the Samaritans did NOT get along too well. In fact, it was considered taboo just to get a drink of water from them (which Jesus did btw).
But notice how it said "and in all Judea AND Samaria, and to the ends of the Earth." He didn't say and all Judea, but skip Samaria because they hurt your feelings. Jesus calls us to love those who do not love us first. So if you bring up Jesus, do it proudly, if they criticize you, oh well. Love them anyways. The best way to win is to not even fight at all. So if you ever think that you are alone in this, you're not. Jesus was put on a cross and died because of what He believed and did. He didn't do anything wrong, He was innocent. Jesus said this:
"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first". -John 15:18. 


Step 3: Find a buddy!
The buddy system is very important when dealing with Christian Equilibrium because it is so easy to forget who we are in Christ when surrounded by those who do not know Him. Ray Vanderlaan says the the 3 most important things in Christianity are:
Scripture
Discipleship (Talmidim in Hebrew)
and Community.
Community meaning fellowship with fellow followers of Jesus. That is why many churches stress so much on youth small groups. While many think it is boring, it is actually a great way to be reflected by who you are by seeing others being who they are in Jesus. An accountability buddy is basically a person who you trust to step in when you're off course and say "Hey man I don't think that what you're doing is right". We need people like that when we forget what is important and we forget what we're doing. This can lead to a stage where we rationalize our sins by saying "oh well one more time won't hurt" or "it'll be fine, no one will know I'm not hurting anybody". Oh but you are my friend, you're hurting yourself. So find yourself someone you can trust in your school who is a follower of Jesus, and basically allow them to conk you on the head if you get out of line.

You're probably thinking how do I know all this? Well, personal experience can be the best teacher, if not the most dangerous. I actually got this epiphany about 30 minutes ago in the shower, and hastily typed this up so I wouldn't forget. I'm 18, fresh out of high school about to start college with a small idea of what I want to do in life. If you've gotten this far into my ranting then I salute you, sir. It is my prayer today that you teens out there in middle and high school don't forget about who you are and what you believe. The school may put a censor on Jesus, but that doesn't mean you should too because you're afraid what others may think of you. It's like a wise man once told me:
"Nobody cares about how much you know, until they know how much you care".

God Bless and I hope you have a wonderful afternoon.
               
                                                                       -

Christmas Reflections

Tomorrow is THE single greatest day in the history of mankind, when God sent his only begotten son Jesus Christ the Messiah to be born, live a sinless perfect life and die for our sins and pay the debt that we were all meant to bear. We fancy up Christmas with traditions, overplayed songs and Christmas specials, all the while distracting us from the TRUE meaning of Christmas. The commercialized "true meaning of Christmas" would have you believe that giving gifts and good cheer just for the heck of it is the "true" meaning, but it's not. It's just a sad twisted reality that man has made over the years. No my friends the true meaning of Christmas is to worship the Savior who came to this Earth to redeem us, and to open a way for us to live in an intimate relationship with God. Christmas isn't about getting anything. It's not about family, it's not about eggnog or Christmas movies. Not saying that there's anything wrong with any of those things, but it's not what Christmas really is. It's about stopping for a moment and worshiping and recognizing that Jesus is Lord, and reflecting on what He did for us and thinking about His birth in the manger.

I talked with my best friend Dave the other day and we talked about many things. Somehow we got on the topic of atheists, and it seems that the source of their unbelief is that they're all mad at God about something. That they believe that He didn't give them something, allow something to happen, or took something from them and they just disconnect. The root of all it is anger. Angry at God, an interesting concept wouldn't you say? See, as humans we are born with the inbred inclination that we are all entitled to things. That we have the right to certain things and privileges. I hate to break it to you, but we're not. Everything you see belongs to God and the only reason that you "own" it, which you don't, is because God willed it to be so. You don't deserve anything, you have no right to anything, and you're not entitled to anything. All unbelievers seek an experience with God. Something tremendous when in reality it's happening all around them, they just don't see it. When you are attuned to His Word and His Will, and if You seek Him with all your heart, you will find God. It's on of His promises. And God doesn't break promises.

At Northstar, Pastor Marty taught one of the best messages I ever heard entitled "Do you have room in your heart for Jesus?" Basically, we overcrowd our hearts with things, relationships, hobbies, work and other things that we don't have room for Jesus in our heart so we shut the door in His face. We are like the innkeeper that didn't give Joseph and Mary a room to stay in for Christ to be born. Instead of wondering what you could give to others, ask what can you give to Jesus on His birthday?

I hope you all who have read this will have a very merry Christmas, and reflect on the true meaning of it. The one that is was intended for.

Thanks for reading, God bless and merry Christmas.

Broken Past, Fixed Future

Life isn't about regretting the choices you've made or mistakes you've done, but rather realizing that without those mistakes and regrets, you wouldn't be who you are now. Sometimes we lay awake at night beating ourselves up with a certain decision or choice that we've made that we wish we could take back, but we never get that opportunity. I honestly believe that wasn't what God had intended for us to do. God shapes us each and every day whether we realize it or not. God is so sovereign that he weaves this awesome tapestry of life, a symphony(music reference, just wanted to put it in there) that each little moment, no matter how small, effects you in a major way. Think about it, how did you become who you are now? Can you honestly say you know? Why do you love the things you love, do the things you do, think the way you think, or love the way you love? Some say it depends on their walks of life or circumstances with which they grew up in. I believe however, that it was divine influence implanted into our lives daily. Notice how whenever your points of view on life changes as you get older. Whether it be from child to teenager, from teen to adult, from adult to elderly, your mind state is in constant change with experience. What causes the change? The variables. Who's in the charge of the variables? You guessed it, God is. You cannot escape His influence no matter how hard you try, and why would you want to? He works everything out for your greater good. There have mistakes I've made that I used to lay awake at night and just sulk and let my past haunt me, that is until God revealed to me that I am, and get this: NOT PERFECT. And without making said mistakes, I wouldn't be the Zach that you see, or rather in this case, read before you. Here's a comforting fact, you're going to screw up in life...a lot. You have to fail a few times before you can succeed. Sometimes failing gives us a reluctancy  to want to try anything anymore, to not take risks. Which in turn causes procrastination. This fear will contaminate your faith. 

"Procrastination is just a fancy word for delayed obedience" --Roy Mansfield 


Turst God, take risks, make mistakes (within reason) and don't worry so much about what you've done. Because there is a God that is far greater than anything you could possibly imagine. 


Thanks for reading.