Who Are We?

I never want you to think that I have my life together. That I know exactly who I am and that I have my stuff straight. There has never been a moment in my life where I looked into the mirror and recognized who was staring back at me. Sure, I have a better idea than I did a couples years ago, but I find that it's in the life defining moments where I have to make a life changing choice that I lose my sense of identity. I'll be honest, I am who I say I am. Trying to keep up this image of what I want you to think of me was too exhausting, so I gave up a long time ago trying to keep the masks on. What you see is what you get and I can assure you that my Facebook page accurately describes who I really am. Everyone is so concerned about the meaning of life. I don't believe that it can be compartmentalized into one idea; I think that it is a individual synopsis that is defined by our experiences and individual purpose in life. My idea of the purpose of life may be different than yours, and I think that it's a beautiful thing. To have something that I can call my own, to be sure of something. We all make choices, big or small, everyday that define who we are and what we believe. My purpose is to serve the Creator that made me, and to spread His light everywhere and to everyone that wants to know Him. To change and influence lives into something better, to inspire and encourage hearts that were once broken. My whole capacity in life is to love. Not for selfish glory or even to be liked, it feels good yeah, but I would much rather be respected than liked. I want to love and be loved by everyone that I meet. I love the people that most cast out, I love the people who don't love, I love the person I haven't even met yet. I love the homeless man on the street, to the point where I want to show him that God and humanity hasn't forgotten about him. When people look at me, or hear my name, I want them to think of Jesus.

I also live for personal love. Intimacy. To be who I am to someone without fear of rejection or criticism. I am a hopeless romantic who often fantasizes about things that most guys don't. Don't get me wrong, I have a life outside of a relationship, but I constantly think of new ways to make my significant other happy, even at the cost of my own. I live for the moments most people would take for granted. To share every moment of life with another person. I live for the sappy crap that most couples find repetitive or superfluous. I live for the moments where I look into the eyes of the person I love the most in this world, and stare back with a reciprocated love. A love that is uncompromising and unconditional. A love that's seen pain but has been set free. To see a smile that I know that I put there. These things define me. I'm not perfect, nor do I ever claim to be, but I try to be the best me that God has intended for me to be, and the best that I can possibly strive for. I don't live for the approval of others, it's too exhausting, but I do live to be known as one with no negative tags that have been placed by my mistakes and my mistakes are many. Life to me isn't about who you were or what you've done, but about who you are now and what you're going to do. Like I said, I haven't figured everything out yet, but I take my life one day at a time.