Christmas Reflections

Tomorrow is THE single greatest day in the history of mankind, when God sent his only begotten son Jesus Christ the Messiah to be born, live a sinless perfect life and die for our sins and pay the debt that we were all meant to bear. We fancy up Christmas with traditions, overplayed songs and Christmas specials, all the while distracting us from the TRUE meaning of Christmas. The commercialized "true meaning of Christmas" would have you believe that giving gifts and good cheer just for the heck of it is the "true" meaning, but it's not. It's just a sad twisted reality that man has made over the years. No my friends the true meaning of Christmas is to worship the Savior who came to this Earth to redeem us, and to open a way for us to live in an intimate relationship with God. Christmas isn't about getting anything. It's not about family, it's not about eggnog or Christmas movies. Not saying that there's anything wrong with any of those things, but it's not what Christmas really is. It's about stopping for a moment and worshiping and recognizing that Jesus is Lord, and reflecting on what He did for us and thinking about His birth in the manger.

I talked with my best friend Dave the other day and we talked about many things. Somehow we got on the topic of atheists, and it seems that the source of their unbelief is that they're all mad at God about something. That they believe that He didn't give them something, allow something to happen, or took something from them and they just disconnect. The root of all it is anger. Angry at God, an interesting concept wouldn't you say? See, as humans we are born with the inbred inclination that we are all entitled to things. That we have the right to certain things and privileges. I hate to break it to you, but we're not. Everything you see belongs to God and the only reason that you "own" it, which you don't, is because God willed it to be so. You don't deserve anything, you have no right to anything, and you're not entitled to anything. All unbelievers seek an experience with God. Something tremendous when in reality it's happening all around them, they just don't see it. When you are attuned to His Word and His Will, and if You seek Him with all your heart, you will find God. It's on of His promises. And God doesn't break promises.

At Northstar, Pastor Marty taught one of the best messages I ever heard entitled "Do you have room in your heart for Jesus?" Basically, we overcrowd our hearts with things, relationships, hobbies, work and other things that we don't have room for Jesus in our heart so we shut the door in His face. We are like the innkeeper that didn't give Joseph and Mary a room to stay in for Christ to be born. Instead of wondering what you could give to others, ask what can you give to Jesus on His birthday?

I hope you all who have read this will have a very merry Christmas, and reflect on the true meaning of it. The one that is was intended for.

Thanks for reading, God bless and merry Christmas.

Broken Past, Fixed Future

Life isn't about regretting the choices you've made or mistakes you've done, but rather realizing that without those mistakes and regrets, you wouldn't be who you are now. Sometimes we lay awake at night beating ourselves up with a certain decision or choice that we've made that we wish we could take back, but we never get that opportunity. I honestly believe that wasn't what God had intended for us to do. God shapes us each and every day whether we realize it or not. God is so sovereign that he weaves this awesome tapestry of life, a symphony(music reference, just wanted to put it in there) that each little moment, no matter how small, effects you in a major way. Think about it, how did you become who you are now? Can you honestly say you know? Why do you love the things you love, do the things you do, think the way you think, or love the way you love? Some say it depends on their walks of life or circumstances with which they grew up in. I believe however, that it was divine influence implanted into our lives daily. Notice how whenever your points of view on life changes as you get older. Whether it be from child to teenager, from teen to adult, from adult to elderly, your mind state is in constant change with experience. What causes the change? The variables. Who's in the charge of the variables? You guessed it, God is. You cannot escape His influence no matter how hard you try, and why would you want to? He works everything out for your greater good. There have mistakes I've made that I used to lay awake at night and just sulk and let my past haunt me, that is until God revealed to me that I am, and get this: NOT PERFECT. And without making said mistakes, I wouldn't be the Zach that you see, or rather in this case, read before you. Here's a comforting fact, you're going to screw up in life...a lot. You have to fail a few times before you can succeed. Sometimes failing gives us a reluctancy  to want to try anything anymore, to not take risks. Which in turn causes procrastination. This fear will contaminate your faith. 

"Procrastination is just a fancy word for delayed obedience" --Roy Mansfield 


Turst God, take risks, make mistakes (within reason) and don't worry so much about what you've done. Because there is a God that is far greater than anything you could possibly imagine. 


Thanks for reading. 

Love Long Lost

These lonely thoughts fill my heart with dread
Thinking all emotion within me might be dead
These lips don't know love anymore
Ever since you walked out on me through that door.

Since then, change has been my game
Wondering if things will ever be the same
My heart sank to the bottom like a stone
Wondering if I'm just better off alone

I meet other girls
They're all the same, just with different faces
Same circumstances
Just different places

Maybe I'm just tired of being hurt
Tired of just another flirt
Heart is battle scared from the pain
While the tears flow out like April's rain

Times were much simpler then
Reminisce about nothings and "remembering when"
My best friends and I laugh about it now
Looking back and thinking: "wow"

Things are different.

Perfect Portrait

I imagine, sometimes to great extent, what my "perfect life" will be like. Condo on the beach, perfect wife, me and my guitar writing songs to the sound of ocean waves, maybe some kids, pastoring at Northstar. Sounds simple right? I'm a musician. My "job", as it were, is to paint pictures using sounds and words. So, obviously, I paint pictures for myself as an artist. My pictures though, are simplistic yet perfect. Yet, as of right now, not everything in my life is perfect. Sometimes I forget that nothing ever is. Only God is. Let me be transparent: I have my doubts sometimes. But the Lord always somehow, always proves that He is in control.

Nothing ever goes according to plan, because in reality, what are our plans compared to God's? Our frivolous list of "To-Do's" and agendas are meaningless in essence. God wants us to use our abilities, talents and gifts to serve Him, and others. My life will never be perfect, even if the portrait in my head is painted out to be everything I imagined it to be. We all go through struggles, trials and tribulations. What keeps us sane? Faith. Whether it be in God or circumstance, faith at the end of the day keeps us all ticking. You have faith that tomorrow will be a better day even when it's not promised. When it does happen, you forget there was yesterday. I like to plan ahead, for literally everything I do. I'm a calculative and critically thinking person. I run scenarios in my head to make sure they do or do not happen. It helps me to avoid failure. Failure is always ever evident in our lives, it's unavoidable. Yet, we as humans don't grasp this concept and when failure does strike it let's us down.

So when things in my life don't go the way I imagine or how I pictured it, I get upset. What do you call that? Pride? Self-centeredness? You call it all of that. I may or may not get my perfect life that I dream about at night, but you know what? It was never promised to me in the first place. I may get something else that is totally better or totally worse than I ever imagined. I'm trying to find a decent girl that I connect with on many levels that wants to be committed in a serious relationship. Am I promised that? No. Do I want it? Of course I  do. The problem with us is our agendas don't want to fit other's agendas because that would be considered "inconvenient". There we go going back to the selfish nature again. What I may plan out might not fit another's plans. What I want might not be what another person wants. God made us to be this different and interchangeable.

I hope my life is almost like what I planned out for it to be. I have hopes, dreams and ambitions like everyone else does, but if you don't get busy doing, you'll just get busy dying. Invest your life in something that's worthwhile. I'll still be here dreaming about my made-belief thoughts, painting portraits of a life composed of goals and sentiments.

Importance of Mentors

In the life of ministry, it almost important that we who are called into ministry appoint for ourselves mentors to disciple, or in other words, apprentice under. Usually, they are pastors, but can also be extremely Godly people that you trust and know to be wise. You usually just pick one main person to disciple under, and have other people around to mentor you as well. The idea is, so you don't misinterpret, or learn things the hard way, and to learn from wiser people so the knowledge can be shared with others. A perfect example of this was Jesus and his 12 "Talmidim" which in Hebrew translates to disciple. They learned everything they could from Him, in order to be like Him, and to spread the teachings of Him to other people. Such as it is with ministry. One of my main spiritual mentors is Pastor Roy Mansfield, who I hold in the highest respects and regards as one of the wisest persons I have ever met. Last Wednesday, we had our last "Experiencing God" small group and it was just awesome. Everybody has cooked all these delicious dishes, (I, of course didn't because I cannot cook) anyways, I had Pastor Roy to visit what he calls his "Counseling Couch" for counsel.

I had a friend who, I will not name for his safety, was contemplating committing suicide. Being a good friend, after he confided in me and had asked for my advice, I gave him the best possible counsel I could but I just could not get through to him. My friend was a person who would never really contemplate these things or even say half of the stuff he was saying, so immediately I sensed the presence of the evil one at work in his life. I went to the one person who I knew could help me with this, Pastor Roy. As I explained what was going on, he gave me the advice that I needed to hear, and then asked for me to start in prayer for my friend. Pastor Roy prayed that we would resist the enemy that was putting such a hold on my friend's life and making him want to commit suicide. After we had prayed, I thanked him and went home. As I was driving home, I received a text from the brother of my friend who told me that "He's ok now, he doesn't want to do it anymore. He's come to his senses."

At this moment, I knew that God was at work here.

Pastor Roy has a saying, "When we work, we work. When we pray, God works." I know now the reality of the truth of this statement. God has the power to do the impossible. He saved my friend's life from a horrible fate. It was not us praying that saved my friend, it was God who worked. My friend went to church and he asked me when me and Pastor Roy had prayed for him, I told him around 7 and he told me that's when he felt better about everything. God was at work that night.

Stuff Contemporary Church Goers like. READ THIS!!

This is a list of musings, and mostly stereotypical views on the modern christian church goers and what they like. I myself am one of those so, I thought I would point out a lot of funny stuff that I've seen within my own church and abroad. Enjoy!

1. Chik-Fil-A (even though it's closed on Sundays)
2. Flip flops
3. Free Music
4. Hillsong United
5. Ultimate Frisbee
6. Attending church functions just for the free food
7. Contemporary Worship Music
8. Rick Warren
9. Conferences
10. Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas.
11. Making stabs at other denominations, mostly Pentecostal jokes.
12. Traditional Hebrew Language, culture and history
13. Greek language and history
14. Air Conditioning
15. Going out to restaurants after church
16. Not tipping very well at said restaurants
17. Religious Debates
18. Gossip
19. Using words like "flippin" to replace actual cuss words. Ex: "That was soo flippin awesome!"
20. Dairy Queen
21. Traditional "Nap after church"
22. Small groups
23. Advertising. Mostly advertising their church
24. Family Life Radio
25. The "Art and Music culture" scene
26. Attending Art shows
27. Attending Music concerts and local band shows
28. Local bands
29. Avoiding the "rough crowd" at the local band shows
30. Staying in the corner of the local band show with your Christian friends
31. Talk about how badly those people need Jesus
32. Tattoos
33. Fedoras
34. Cabbie Caps, aka Flat Caps
35. Not wearing a suit on Sunday (awesome)
36. Complaining that you can never find a decent parking spot in the church parking lot
37. The back row of the Worship Center
38. Starbucks
39. Mac Book pros, and other various Apple products
40. The Passion of the Christ (even though it's biblically and historically wrong)
41. Mel Gibson
42. Morgan Freeman playing God in Bruce Almighty
43. Trying to figure out ways to pray for somebody
44. Constantly asking "can I pray for you?"
45. Long hair (this is mostly from younger guys to youth)
46. DJ music (again, mostly youth)
47. Toms shoes
48. Africa
49. Texting
50. Texting while the Pastor is talking

God Speaks

A couple blogs ago, I spoke about relationships and feeling called to be single. Now, I realize that it's more real than I had originally anticipated. God spoke to me the other night in a devotional, and it rang so clear to me, it was almost as if that He was speaking audibly and directly to me, and no one else. I study a daily devotional called "Experiencing God" and that night, I experienced Him in such a way that I never have before. I would always speculate or doubt if God was speaking or not, but this time was different. I was 100% positive. It was crazy, I remember reading over the words and then it hit me, I thought it was someone playing a joke on me. I stopped and went "Woah dude...this is nuts". I never heard God speak to me so clear and plain. It was a magnificent feeling that I could never really express to you in words. My mind was blown, my emotions were spinning. At that moment, I realized that God doesn't always have to be so clear in His ways and purposes, but when He does, He changes you. Whenever He decides to reveal Himself to you, He wants You to do something. God doesn't speak, just to hear Himself speak. He has a plan for you to fill out. This is true all throughout the bible. Moses, Joshua, David, Abraham, Jonah, Paul etc, everyone God spoke to had a purpose and plan for them.

Many times, I've tried to get around something that I wasn't exactly sure if God was telling me to do it or not. Today, and even many times before, He made it plain and clear to me but I just wasn't conscientious at the time. I strongly believe God is calling me to be single. Why? I have no earthly idea, but Pastor Roy once told me: "If you could fathom God, or even understand Him within the depths of your own mind, and figure everything there is about Him, then He wouldn't be God".
Obedience, utter and total surrender to doing God's will, and not your own, requires you to go down a path that you might not understand or even see. True faith, is a hard thing to come by for every Christian, we're so used to relying on others or our own understanding and sight, that we become dependent on the very things that let us all down.

Being single, requires the strength to not rely on others to give you happiness and joy. I may or may not be single forever, but if that is God's will for me, then that is where I want to be. There is a greater joy in knowing that my God and my savior Jesus Christ loves me, than anything this world could ever offer me.

One Love

God desires us. He wants us to be in a intimate love relationship with him that is real and personal. If none of us were without sin, then we wouldn't need Jesus. "We love Him, because He loved us first" --1 John 4:19


Let's think about what that means first. We love because HE first loved. This verse indicates that before creation existed, before man, animals and that Starbucks in the mall was even there, God loved us. God knows the past, present and future. He loved us before He even created us. Isn't that mind-blowing? He knew the world would fall into temptation, so He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins. He is the master planner. He knows it before you even think to do. God will always beat you to it. We are not original due to this fact, we merely copy what God has already made possible for us to think.

Temptation is a hard thing to refuse, in any form that in comes in. Temptation can lead to addiction, it can ruin friendships, and destroy integrity. Our minds are nomads. They wander from place to place when attention isn't fixated on what drives us, or in other words pleases us. No one is above temptation, and no one is safe from it. We are tempted everyday in some shape or form, whether it be small as a piece of cake you KNOW you shouldn't have, to as big as cheating on your wife.

Whatever our struggles, we all have them. Sometimes life comes at us like a freight train and makes us forget about God, and then it makes us complacent with out relationship with Christ. God however, desires us and loves us in such a way that he devises a plan to bring you back to Him. Surround yourself with Godly people, who will step in when they see you stumble and fall, pick you up and lift you higher than you ever were to begin with. I've found such people, and they truly saved my life.

This will be hard for you, but try to desire nothing but The Lord, and an intimate relationship with Him. Cast aside all other desires, when they come, refocus your attention on Him. Try this for a week and see how much God will love on you and bless you.

Don't let selfish desires and temptation forget who you are and what you believe in. You are more than any mistake you can ever make, and God is greater than anything you can ever imagine.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth.” --Psalm 46:10

Looking for love...in all the wrong places

Ever think that God sometimes speaks through music? As a musician, God knows that He can my attention through music because I have a deep connection to it and I'm always vibing to some song. Lately I've been struggling with relationships, friend and "girl" friend wise, more focused however on the "girl" friend aspect however. I've been trying and trying again but it seems that nothing seems to work out for me. I prayed that God would speak to me last night in my devotional (the first devotional I've had in about 2 weeks) and reveal to me his purposes. This morning, I had a sudden feeling to listen to "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North. It's funny because I haven't really listened to that song it a while, and it collects virtual dust in my ipod. As I was listening, all the lyrics really fuzzed out, but this verse is what caught my attention:

"Why are you looking for love? Why are you searching as if I'm not enough? To where will you go child? Tell me where will you run? To where will you run?"

The whole time I was looking for a girlfriend, I was neglecting God. I thought more of a female relationship than my relationship with Lord Jesus. In my devotional it says that when God says He's going to do something, He guarantees it's going to happen, and that "IT" never works, HE works. The "IT" being a system or way of doing something. I can't replace God with other things. Although I feel really convicted about this, there was another verse that comforted me, and last night, I prayed that God would show me that everything was alright:

"Cause, I love you. I want you to know that I love you, I'll never let you go."

Be Bold

Lately, God has been speaking to me quite a bit and I'm beginning to see a pattern. I sense that God is calling me to make certain adjustments in my life in order for His will and work to be completed through me. God has been hinting to me that I need to have a stronger trust and faith in Him, and that I can say I trust Him all I want, words do not matter. It is the action that truly reveals what I believe about God, whether it be in my relationships with people, commitments or conversations. Also, God spoke to me today about being more intentional and bold with my faith. Yesterday, I got into a heated argument with my father over faith and Jesus, and I felt like giving up, but God spoke to me saying that I do not need to worry, that no matter what trial you may face, as long you trust in Me, and Me alone I will deliver you. It was really reassuring because I fear rejection or loss, feeling uncomfortable or fear of failure. Marty's message today spoke to me almost as if he spoke exactly what was going on in my life, and what I needed to do. That happens a lot in my life, and I believe that is one of the ways God speaks to me in a personal way. We as Christians all face these fears, which makes us silent when the time for boldness arises. The disciples were flogged and arrested several times after teaching in the name of Jesus. After they had been imprisoned, the would go out and do the same thing they got arrested for. After multiple warnings, finally the Pharisees got tired of them and had them arrested, planning to execute them. Instead after a long discussion with a esteemed member of the counsel named Gamaliel, they instead flogged them and let them go. If you are unfamiliar with the term "flogged", it is one of the worst punishments in the ancient society, right after crucifixion. In fact, before Jesuswas crucified, he was severely flogged. They would take whips with glass shards, sharp metal or hooks and whip the victim until their flesh literally was peeling off. So one by one, they were flogged and then set free. Even after all this punishment, they were still not defeated or unwavering in their faith. They prayed to God for even MORE boldness and continued to teach in the name of Jesus. You see, the disciples had a passion for Jesus unlike any other because were firsthand witnesses of the power and might of God. They were even His students! Imagine what it would be like if Jesus came back, and choose 12 people to be his disciples today and chose you, as you were living your daily routine. Let's say you're mowing the grass, then a man walks up to you and immediately you notice that there is something different about him, but you can't exactly find out what. He then asks you this "Come, follow me. Leave behind everything that you know and follow me." If you were put in this situation, what would you do? Would you follow him? Leave everything that you love behind? Your family, friends, job, school, pets everything behind you, and follow a man you never met before? You probably wouldn't, but you don't know what is at work here. You see, Jesus chose His disciples to be apart of a plan that God had started. A revolution that would forever change the face of mankind for all eternity. But...you don't see that, you only see the things at face value. You would probably think this guy is nuts and tell him to leave, but then you wouldn't have experienced what the 12 apostles experienced. To follow Jesus, requires faith, even in the things you don't see. When Jesus approached Matthew, Simon Peter, John etc, they all immediately stopped what they were doing, and left everything , their family, wives children, behind to follow a man they just met. In order to be apart of God's revolution, you must have bold faith. Church, as Christ intended it, was never a building, but rather a movement. He built the foundation His church on this truth: that He is the son of the Living God, who died on the cross for our sins, was buried and rose again. That is what church is. It's not a building, it is not the idea of "kirche" which is the German word for "Lord's House". It is none of those things. It is a movement that God has started, and is continuing today. Not even the gates of hell can stop this movement that God has started. Sometimes it's about standing up for what you believe, even when you are fearful of the results. Be bold. That's what our armbands at Northstar say. It doesn't mean be rude, but rather stand up for what is right and for what is truth. I am challenged by this messaged and by God speaking to me these past couple weeks. I will have more faith, I will be more intentional with my faith, my relationships and actions, and I will be bold, so that I can be apart of a revolution that God started a long time ago.

Answering The Call

Over the past couple of months, God has been me to do something that I don't quite understand. I trust in God's leading, but understanding the reasoning behind it is what I struggle with. After my last serious relationship ended in January. I stayed single for a while until I met another girl whom I grown very fond of. She was a believer and was very attractive, both mentally and physically. She was artistic, which is very appealing to me. We began talking and hit it off pretty well, but it just didn't work out and the whole thing ended up pretty horrible afterwards unexpectantly. I met a few other girls and the same thing began to happen and I started noticing a pattern. Either a guy had already beaten me to her, or something would happen to where it just wouldn't work out.

I began to sense that maybe God was calling me to be single, but I didn't know why? It was very frustrating to me because I'm a very affectionate person, and I really don't like being single. But then it began to make sense after a while. I felt that maybe God was calling me to be single to help me focus on other areas of my life, that a relationship would only hinder. Also, that by maybe just by being obedient in God's leading, and trusting in Him even when I don't understand the situation entirely, that I might grow more spiritually in my faith and relationship with God, and by being obedient God would bless me with a relationship with a girl that is compatible with me. I feel that I should focus more on the relationship I have with God rather than a girl because that would mean I am seeking earthly and secular things. Perhaps another reasoning behind this is because God is protecting me from being hurt, or falling into temptation with sin.

My logic and reasoning are nothing compared to the limitless and infallible understanding that God has. As you can see, there are many things behind the reason why God is calling me to be single. Many times have I tried but all opportunities have been closed shut for me. Sometimes God calls us to do things that we don't understand or grasp logically. God might call us to do weird things that make us even question if that is God's direction. The thing we have to realize is that by just being obedient that God shows us His plan for us, and that He will give us the desires of our hearts. We cannot think like God. We cannot fully understand God because if we could then He wouldn't be God if we figured Him out. God's power and wisdom far surpass anything you could possibly comprehend. God knows literally everything at all times. I find a hard time following God's will when I don't understand it, but it takes faith. Faith is believing in what you don't see. You might not be able to see the reason or logic behind it, you might not even see the direction the path might be taking you, but if it is God's will, it is always right, and it is always good.

You can trust in a God who already knew and loved you, and created you before existence was even though of. Being obedient takes faith. Faith is doing something without knowing the result, but trusting in God and His leading. God calls everyone to do something they don't understand. God has called me to ministry, and that was the LAST thing I pictured myself doing.

God might be calling you to do something you don't understand completely, and you might not even be realizing it. I am trusting God in His leading and I am responding to Him by being obedient and waiting for Him to show me the right girl for me. Whatever you sense God calling you to do, pray to God and ask Him to reveal to you His purposes behind whatever it is you feel God calling you to do.

We don't always understand what God wants us to do, but if have true faith in Him, and trust in His leading then we can be obedient and respond to God and grow in our relationship with Him. God uses these crisis of beliefs to teach us something about our character, or even God's character. Perhaps a spiritual truth or principle He wants to instill in you. There could be thousands of reasons, but know we can trust in a God who has purposed everything in your life according to His plan. Have faith, even when you don't fully understand the why behind it.

No Such Thing As Luck

Lately I've been praying for God to use me in some way to impact someone's life or use me to complete His work. Last night and tonight, my prayer was answered. Last night, I had the strangest feeling to text a complete stranger whom I've never even really met before. We sort of talked earlier that day but we never really had the chance to formally introduce ourselves to one another. After I had texted her, we hit it off pretty great. We started talking and then she said something that would later loop this whole story together later. She said to me: "Well you've certainly made my night better". At the time I thought it was just a mere compliment with no real meaning behind it, but later I would soon find out the it was a meaning I had overlooked.

Tonight we began texting again, and she finally decided to share with me what had been bothering her for a while now. She began to tell me about some trust issues she had been having and how much it had been bothering her. I began to pour into her life and gave her my views on the matter, she then began to tell me how much I had helped her and then said to me: "Last night I was in a horrible mood, but you just texted me out of no where and made my whole night better". She never hinted that she was in a horrible mood that night, and by no circumstance was this coincidence. God directed me to text this stranger that I never knew or met before, and He used me as a vessel to complete His work through me. I was able to bring a smile to someone's face and impact her in a way that reflected the love of God. I am soo humbled and honored that God would use me in this way and just echoes the power of His perfect love. It was a demonstration of His mercy and love, and shows that God is the Sovereign Lord, who controls and directs out lives. Has anything ever happened to you that seemed a little bit TOO much of a coincidence? As I walk with Christ I learn that there is no such thing as luck. Everything happens for a reason and not by chance. I got to experience God tonight just by being obedient and open for Him to use me.

God invites us everyday to be apart of His work. He WANTS to partner with us. That's why He sent his son and the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. Through a relationship with Jesus, we can come to the Father. With the Holy Spirit we partner with God. Through the entire Bible, God has partnered with us. He partnered with Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, and spoke to Moses many times. He completed His work through Moses. Throughout the Bible, God spoke in many different ways. In the Old Testament, God spoke through prophets and miraculous signs. Throughout the Gospels, He spoke through His son Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for our sins. In the books of acts, God sent His Holy Spirit to live inside of us for all eternity.

God wants to partner with us everyday so that He can complete His work through us. My belief is that I would give up everything I know and love and own, just to experience God. I would give everything up if it meant at least 1 person came to know Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. As we experience God, we draw closer to Him. Glory be to God for allowing me to impact this person's life. I want when people look at me, they see Jesus. I want to reflect the love and glory of my Father in Heaven soo much, that they want to experience Him. I want God to use me in every way that He sees fit for my life, to advance the Kingdom of Heaven and bring glory to His Holy name in everything that I do.

But, I still have a long way to go....

His sheep know His voice

Eric Schrotenboer is one of my spiritual mentors. As I was having lunch with him one day, I asked him this: "How do I know I'm following God the right way? How do I know my path is aligned with God and not my own?" What he said to me next has stuck with me ever since, and confirmed to me that I have the right mentors.

He told me that while he was in Israel, he saw a shepherd with his sheep on a path, and the sheep were trained to stay just on the path and eat the grass on the edge, they were not to wander off the path. At times the shepherd would go ahead of the flock so that they could not see him, but he would call them and they would come immediately. Now, the paths kind of split like the picture you see above except they split in more directions. He said "now these sheep, could not see their shepherd but heard him calling them. They wanted to come to where the shepherd was but didn't know which way to go, so they chose a path. Eventually all the paths that split came back to one path, and at the end of that path was the shepherd. The sheep are trained to only respond to the shepherd's voice, and no one else voice. Sometimes, other shepherds would try to steal other shepherd's sheep, so they trained them to respond to only their voice.  It doesn't matter which path you take, as long as you listen and follow God's voice".

Jesus is often referred to as "The Shepherd", the flock being His children of believers. John 10:27 says: "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me"


The path is represented as your walk with God in life. The shepherd's voice is Jesus directing your life, and the other voices trying to get you to turn and stray from God is sin and evil. If you come to know God's voice, and hear Him when he calls you, then no matter which way you go, as long as you listen to Him, you will always be in line with God. The different paths represent the choices and decisions you make. Everyday we say "should I do this? or this?", as long as we hear what God has to say about our plans, and follow Him, it always come back to God. As long as you follow God and obey His commands, pursue a intimate love relationship with Him and not stray from that, then everything will work out. We are the sheep, listening to the Shepherd's voice, and at the end of that path waiting is Jesus. Do you struggle with hearing Him? I know I do sometimes. But just remember that God doesn't speak JUST to hear Himself speak. Usually God speaks to reveal something about His ways or purposes. He usually speaks to invite you to adjust to Him, so that He may complete His work through you. There will be many things trying to get you to stray from the path my brave fellow sheep, don't listen to it because it will only distance you from God. We make decisions everyday, if you're worried about if it was the right one, don't. All paths that are devoted to God, lead back to God. Want to hear God speak? Read His word, I hear Him speak to me all the time through that alone.

God has truly blessed me with mentors such as Eric, Ray, Roy and Lee. It's good that you surround yourself with godly counsel, in fact the Bible even commands it, but God spoke to me the other night and showed me that 1 individual is not the entire church. You see, God speaks through the church to confirm what He is doing through you in your life. It's like an "outside looking in" perspective. They see what God is doing in you, then they reflect and confirm it to you. Sometimes we depend on just 1 individual's input, which isn't at all bad, but sometimes it is always good to get other's opinion so you get multiple views, and if they all align with the same principle, that my friend it is in line with God. Find some godly people in your life to guide you in your walk with Christ. I have the best mentors and godly counsel I could ever ask for, and without them I wouldn't be where I'm at today. God can speak through them, and we can hear His voice. Remember it isn't always the path you take, just as long as you're hearing the direction in your life calling you.

Deja Vu

Ever read a passage of scripture that seems to keep on popping up or standing out to you? Lately, it's been this passage:

"Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself"

It appears in Deuteronomy, Leviticus, the book of Mark, Matthew, Luke and makes references to many other books. It's a prayer known as the "Shema" and it's also called the "Greatest Commandment" that God calls us to follow. I've seen it 4 times now: I've learned how to recite in Hebrew in "The Dust of the Rabbi" small group. I've studied it in a devotional with my other small group "Experiencing God". Pastor Marty spoke about it last Sunday in his message, and  last night, our small group attended the memorial service of a girl who got killed in a car accident and her youth pastor recited it. So obviously God is trying to tell me something through this scripture, but what? I think it's more of a self reflection for me, to evaluate what I'm doing and how much I focus on God. I try to devote myself as much as I can to the Lord, but I feel like I'm lacking big time. I'm not sure what areas those are yet, but I'll continue to pray for His direction. I think the "love your neighbor as yourself" sticks out a lot to me. I think I need to express more love to others, especially my broken family.

As God moves and speaks to me in my life, I'm very cautious as to how I interpret what He's trying to tell me. I don't want to miss what He's saying, but I also don't what to misunderstand what God is saying either. I have always found that impulsive, bold and impatient action only leads failure, so I've become wary of God's speakings to me. I will pray to Him to help me clearly understand what He wants me to understand or learn, and to give me the guidance that He has been lately.

The Sounds of Silence

Silence is the absent of sound, or lack of response from a person. It can also be devastating to self-esteem and relationships. We live in a technology age where everything is done behind either a computer screen or a text message. We're losing relational value and ostracizing ourselves from other people. Silence however has a funny way of playing tricks with the mind. SO much in fact that it distorts our vision and ability to think rationally. We jump to conclusions or make up justifications as to why there is no response. You begin to question the circumstances, or make up excuses. I'll give some examples that just about everyone has experienced:

We've all done this, we meet a cute guy or girl and get their cell number and we start texting them. After about a couple days of flirting, all seems well until one day he/she doesn't respond to your texts anymore. Matter of fact, he/she doesn't respond to you all day. You resend the messages about 5 or 6 times just to be SURE he/she got them. Now here's the process: At first, you just brush it off thinking "well maybe their just busy or don't have their phone" but then time begins to sink in. You become more and more impatient. You then become paranoid. You now begin to think maybe she lost interest in me? maybe she found another guy? maybe I said something that offended her? Maybe she doesn't want to be in a relationship? Maybe I'm just not good enough? You fall into a list of "maybes" and try to figure out why the person you messaged won't respond. More time goes by, then you become angry, you begin to think "what is her problem? why won't she message me? Is she ignoring me? Well 2 can play at that game! she's stuck up. I know I'm way too good for her anyways..her loss. You then begin to try and stalk him/her on facebook to see when they last posted a status, maybe you find one and say "well if she can post a status, why can't she text me back?"  You then become depressed. You have tried everything to figure out just why this person you messaged won't text you back...and then you get it. The message you've been waiting for: "Hey sorry I haven't texted you all day, I didn't have my phone, I just got 12 of the same texts from you just now" 

Do you see the breakdown here? Silence has an effect on us that pushes us out of our comfort zone. Imagine you're in a comedy club, and the comedian walks out and stands there for 30 minutes not saying a word. Not moving, not smiling. Just standing there doing nothing. At first, you would laugh thinking it's apart of the act, time goes on it's still kind of funny, but then it just gets uncomfortable. You begin to think "how long is this going to last? Is he ok? People shift in their seats, and silence falls over the crowd. No one moves. They wait anxiously for something to happen...but nothing does... and that makes us uncomfortable. The waiting. Waiting for the unknown to happen. It's a anxious sort of wait, like when you wait in the waiting room of a doctor's office, waiting for the test results or for a surgery that you need done. You're nervous, but anxious to get to it. You crave it, you need it, you hunger for the instantaneous response. Have you ever noticed that you tend to hear things when it's completely silent? It makes sense doesn't it? If it was noisy, you couldn't hear anything but when it's dead quiet, the silence begins to play tricks on you. You start hearing things that aren't there. The next time you're home alone, try shutting off everything in your house, eliminate all sound in your house and just listen. You'd be amazed at how much you'd think you hear. 

The text message example I just gave, is that not like our relationship with God? If we don't hear something right away, then we begin to question Him or the circumstances. Maybe He's mad at me? Maybe He doesn't want to talk to me? We begin to make up our own truths and believe them, because that makes us feel safe. God wants to talk to you, me and everyone else. Just because God is silent, doesn't mean He's not there. Just because the person doesn't reply back within 20 seconds, doesn't mean that person doesn't exist anymore. God will speak to us when He wants to speak to us. God doesn't just talk JUST to hear Himself talk, there is always a purpose behind it. When God speaks, it is because He wants to reveal something about Himself to you, or cause you to action. He may reveal something to you, or teach you something. He may complete His work in you to impact someone else's life. 

I have trouble understanding this. Lately I've felt far away from Him, or I just having been listening good enough. I felt spiritually drained. Sometimes God is silent because we either have sin separating us from Him that we need to make right, or because He wants to reveal a deeper understanding of who He is. 

A thing to remember to get you through anything, is patience. Though it may be difficult to master or even understand, but it'll help us not jump to so many false conclusions. There will be times when God is silent, but don't let that discourage you because He has a greater purpose behind everything. He created you before time began, and God loves us no matter what. Don't let silence twist your mind and thinking, but rather fill that silence with a prayer to Him, and block away any sound that isn't there. Faith above all else, can get us through even the most difficult of times. Patience requires perseverance and practice. 

Stay positive

Day of Freedom

Freedom. In order to get it, you must first fight for it. Today as you celebrate our nation's independence, I want you to take a look around you, and notice the little things that you take for granted. The things that people in other countries don't get to have or do. The things that costed soo many people their lives fighting to defend it. The 4th of July isn't about the fireworks, the day off from work, the apple pie or the bonfires. It isn't even about the history. It's about our recognition as a free world, a freedom that has been entrusted with us by God. But you see, we're all truly free. Everyone of us can be set free, if we accept Truth. Truth isn't a principle or a lesson to be learned, it's a person. Jesus Christ is Truth, and if you accept Him into your heart as Your personal Savior, then my friend you are free. 

Many countries have made worshiping God illegal. In fact, if you get caught in certain countries acknowledging that you worship God, you can be put in prison for life or even put to death. Such countries are Korea, and some areas in Israel. Many families have to worship God in secret, with other believers, hiding their faith for their very lives. They are supposed to be the light of the world and the salt of the Earth as Jesus said, and yet their light is being extinguished by a world that makes it illegal to follow God. They cannot do what they were created for, and their purpose is being exploited. They fight everyday to read their bibles, they need it to live.  They read it first thing when they wake up, and right before they go to bed. They are fighting for their faith. Everything that they do is centered around God. Can we as Americans say the same thing about our faith? Are we fighting for God? Or fighting against Him? We live in a world, were we can worship God freely, and yet...we don't. We see it as a chore or a burden. We get discouraged because it "looks to hard". When those people who are persecuted because of their belief come over here to escape and freely worship God for the first time, what will they see? They will see people who take their freedom for granted, people who never fought for what they have. The Word of God is a precious treasure in many countries, it it valued above all else. 

Such was the story of early Christ followers living in a Greek world. In order to buy anything in the markets, be apart of the city counsel or even be in their society, you had to acknowledge and pay homage to their gods. If you didn't, then you couldn't be apart of that world. Before Jesus came, the Greek mythology we know today as myth was the World religion in many areas. There was a god for pretty much anything and everything. Then Jesus came and said cast down your other idols and follow me. People did, but when they did it became counter-cultural. They worshiped in secret, hiding in homes dedicated to the Lord, huddling together taking in God's Word. Many times was it easy to not follow God. In order to buy something in the market, you had to pay a sacrifice to Hermes. In order to vote in the city counsel you had to pay homage to Athena, if you did pay homage to the Greek Gods then you did evil in the eyes on the true God, the God of Israel. The same God who is alive and is still God today. Can you imagine what they must have gone through? I can't. They didn't follow the Greek Gods, so they couldn't be apart in that world. So they fled, and fought to follow God. 

Destree was telling me of a Korean woman in her seminary class that never spoke to anyone, but one day in class she raised her hand and everyone was shocked because she hardly ever spoke but this is what she said: "You Americans take for granted what you have been given, you spend hours on Facebook, glorifying yourselves when you can't even spend 10 minutes in God's word. Many of my people died for this right, the right to worship God, and you people have it, yet everyone does not do it. It makes me sick"

Is this the image we want to show to the world? That all American Christ followers are hypocrites or take our freedom for granted? American is on a pedestal, and the whole world is watching us. When other believers who center their ENTIRE lives around Christ come here and see the laziness that we as believers have, what will they think? What will they say? What will other people who don't even know Christ say? Will they want what we have? No, they won't. Know why? Because if it is not in us, then how can we put it in them? If Christ is not the center of our lives, then how can we share it with people who don't know Him? They will say "Well, if that Christian can do it, why can't I? He's just a hypocrite". I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a hypocrite. This is what I want: I want people when they see me, they see Jesus. They see Jesus in me, and I want them to want Jesus in them. 

Ray told me about a 10th grade boy, who never even heard of Jesus. He had NO clue at all who He was or what He done. He did not know my Lord and Savior, he didn't even hear about Jesus' name. One day, someone took the time to share with Him just Who Jesus was, and now that same kid is going to Bible college to become a pastor. He was set free, he got to experience Truth. 

What do people see when they look at you? What do you want them to see? Are you reflecting God's love? Are you living out what God told you to do? Or are you taking our freedom for granted, the same freedom our soldiers died for. That same freedom that people in other countries die for, they risk their lives to follow God. What are you doing about it?  Wake up, pick up your cross and go, make disciples. Teach them them to obey, but how can you teach them, if you don't know what God taught?

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" --Matthew 28:19

"Teach them the decrees and laws, and show them the way to live and the duties they are to perform." --Exodus 18:20

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." --Matthew 5: 13-16

God of Opportunities

Being in a mentor/leadership role to younger kids can be rewarding, but it can also be stressful at times. God gave me a giving and caring heart, and sometimes I want to take on the problems that every middle school kid that I come into interaction with has. One kid in particular who's name is Cody, reminds me a lot of myself when I was his age. He wants to be a drummer and often looks to me for guidance, sometimes more than just drumming. He needs money for new sticks and I offered to buy him some, without even realizing that if I did, I would have no money to eat with. Sometimes my generosity gets in the way of rational thought.

Then, God showed me a different way to impact his life. We were talking today over facebook chat, and he told me that he has been drumming on a book since he has no money to pay for a drum pad. It came perfectly clear what I had to do next. I just remembered that I still had the very first drum pad that I ever got when I first started drumming. That pad and I go way back and it has some sentimental value to me, but I knew God was giving me a opportunity to impact and pour into Cody's life so I took it. God knew the consequence if I gave Cody my money, so He gave me a different chance to be generous and impact without me going without. It's the perfect balance. God demonstrates His perfect love by providing for me and Cody equally. He allowed me to be generous without suffering.

God really does love me, and this experience with God has brought me closer than ever to the Creator. God does not play favorites

Acts: 10:34 -- "Then Peter began to speak 'I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism"

A Dry Season

Have you ever gone through a period of spiritual drought? Have you ever felt spiritually and physically drained? That you feel almost disconnected from the Lord? I period know as "Spiritual Depression". I'm going through a time like this right now, and it's very frustrating. I can't think straight, I haven't slept in weeks. I feel like I'm falling deeper and deeper into a pit of spiritual drought, and I can't get out. I feel like I haven't been listening or God hasn't been speaking to me, or He has and I just haven't been attentive. Emotionally, I feel empty. I spent a lot of time in prayer due to this silence, and God came through for me in small, but measurable ways. First, as soon as I started experiencing this spiritual emptiness, in my devotional study "Experiencing God" I came to the page that dealt with "Silences of God", and a truth was revealed to me, God is silent from either 2 reasons, I have sin that I need to confess and make right with God, or He is silent because He wants to reveal a deeper understand of Himself to me. I'm not sure which one I am experiencing at the moment, but I feel God is getting me through this. Today, He revealed another truth to me through circumstance. As I was charging my ipod, my phone and my Xbox controller battery, it dawned on me: Without being connected to God, I am powerless. I will just go and go until I have nothing left, it is only through trusting God and staying connected to Him that I gain strength through Him. To further affirm this truth, I read a tweet from Rick Warren that said:

"Being disconnected from God is like an unplugged toaster or blender, powerless and useless for the purpose you were made for"

I have prayed for God to speak to me, and He answered. One thing that I believe explains my emotional and physical drought, is my lack of sleep, and the fact that I worked for a week straight last week. Ray noticed my tiredness and gave me Thursday off. I think my physical exhaustion led to my mental and spiritual dryness. I'm trying to find myself as a person. I know that what I do doesn't determine who I am, but it certainly influences who I become. I know that I'm called to ministry, but it seems more and more obstacles are in my path. I would really like to express what I'm going through with one of my mentors, but I find it's a tough subject to bring up. I feel almost ashamed to even mention it but I know it's a dangerous thing to just let go. I think this is just another trial the Lord has put before me to build my character and bring me ever closer to Him. I think that often times, when we think we are far away from God, we are often the closest.

I am trusting Him, and He will get me through this as He always does.

10 Reasons why everyone should grow a beard

Alright guys, as you all know beards are awesome, and everyone should grow one. I've listed 10 reasons as to why beards are awesome. Enjoy!

A Real Magic Trick

Last night, I had the honor and privilege of meeting Brock Gill, the nationally known Christian illusionist. He's basically the Christian version of Criss Angel. A church from the northern parts of Georgia came here to Panama City to hold their youth camp, and asked  for us to allow them to use Axis as their worship center. Ray and I met them and talked with them and arranged everything for their stay with us. Now, I have always been a fan of illusions, ever since I was little. To this day, I still love the art of illusion and watching good illusionists baffle me with the question: "Ok, how did he do that?" I'm not superstitious or believe that magic is real, but I still love sitting there with the emotion and memory I did as a little child believing that it was real. I even at the age of 6 proclaimed to my parents that I was going to be a professional magician, and I bought all kinds of DIY magic kits and tricks, and I always put on a show for them. Even now, I still enjoy a good trick that captures the imagination and captivates the heart.

When I heard they booked Brock Gill the illusionist, I was pretty stoked. I never heard of him before so I thought he was small time, but it turns out that he's actually nationally known. I always love to meet famous people because it's always a good story to tell, and because I don't get to meet people like that everyday. Before everyone came in, after I had sat through Roy's message review, I was determined to meet this guy. I walked up to him and shook his hand, introduced who I was and asked if he needed help and sure enough, he did. I got to help him set up, which was really cool because I felt like I was in "show-biz". He was a really cool and humble dude.

Brock was easily one of my favorite illusionists I ever saw. He combined humor with his showmanship and did all sorts of tricks and stunts that truly amazed me. At the end though is where he really caught my attention. At the end of his show, he stopped and shared the gospel. He told everyone who wanted to commit their lives to Christ to stand and find a counselor, and that night 15 kids got saved. My good friend Nathan Parens, who is on the media team at Northstar, led his little brother to the Lord. It was such a touching moment that made me praise God for His love and glory. Brock really brought the heat with his message, and God was at work. I felt the presence of the Lord fill my heart and gave me such a joy...I felt incredible.

Brock gave an amazing illustration at the very end before he closed, his final illusion that not only was a beautiful depiction of God's love, but an amazing finale. He had an empty bucket, and behind him were 3 stools, each with a vase filled with water. He told the story of how Jesus said in John 4:14 " But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life." He took the vases filled with water and began filling the bucket. He did this over 10 times, each time he said over and over "You will never thirst again". The vases kept refilling, and he kept repouring them into the bucket. It was a beautiful illustration. 

Jesus was the greatest magician of all. His tricks though, weren't tricks at all, they were miracles. His magic, His power was real. It was from His Father Who is in Heaven, and loves us with such a love, that His Son would die on the cross just to give us salvation. Brock Gill didn't save those kids, Ray, Nathan and the other counselors didn't save those kids, Christ did. Jesus is THE way. Going to church isn't the way, saying you're a Christian isn't a way. Jesus is the ONLY way.

"No one comes to the Father, except through me" --John 14:6. 


A relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important decision you will EVER make in your life. God was at work last night, and He worked through Brock Gill. It was nights like last night that made me love the Father even more, love what I do more, and wish that moments like these, lasted forever.

To God be the glory.

The Little Things.

Sometimes, the little things is what matters the most to certain people, and I'm one of those certain people. I like to kick back and live simple with a dash of luxury. I'm at a point in my life where God has rained down His blessing on me, and I wouldn't trade where I'm at, what I'm doing or who I'm with for anything else. I wish these moment could last forever, but everything is temporal and subject to change.

One thing that I look forward to every week is Sundays at Northstar Church. Not only to worship my God and Savior, not only to be with fellow believers in the congregation and listen to the wise words of either pastor Marty or Roy, not only to hang out with my mentor and 2nd adopted father Ray Woodard,  not only to serve people and kids in Axis and Boardwalk and bring smiles to their faces for the glory of God. All these things are fantastic and I look forward to all of them...but there is one thing that I absolutely, positively cannot wait for, and that is lunch with pastor Ray Woodard and the Northstar Media Team.

Now, let me tell you about this motley crew of scalawags. They are THE funniest, most sarcastic and riotous bunch I ever had the pleasure to meet. Me and Ray ALWAYS look for opportunities to go to lunch with them whenever we can, just so we can join in on the hilarity and laugh until our stomachs bleed. If they aren't making sarcastic jabs at one another, then they are talking about the most ridiculous and random stuff you could never think of. Ray and I love hanging out with these guys because they ALWAYS make us laugh. It's the little things like these that make you stop and be thankful for people like that, and for being where you're at. I wouldn't trade this for anything else this world could offer me, God has truly blessed my life, and to Him be the glory.

My Lifelong Dreams..

Ever since I could remember, I had a lifelong dream to live in a condo on the beach. To this day, that dream still remains true to my heart. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can almost picture it: the view from the balcony, the ocean at night, friends coming over and laughing. This is a dream that I've my whole life, and it hasn't changed, but I did however add more things to the list to complete. Here's my life To-Do List:

1. Graduate high school
2. Go to college
3. Become a pastor
4. Find my dream condo 
5. Find my true love and start a family

I know it sounds cheesy or probably ridiculous to you, but just think for a moment what your lifelong dream is. Is it realistic? Can you achieve it? All the things on my list are realistic and feasible. It will take some time, and a lot of hard work but there's one thing that keeps me reassured and focused on my goals. My faith in Christ. There's a scripture that says: "Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart". --Psalm 37:4. Now, this is not saying that you'll get EVERYTHING you want ALL the time, because maybe it's not in God's plan for you. My dream are engraved and etched in the deepest corners of my mind, and I feel that this is my destiny. To serve the Lord, commit my life to ministry. He revealed all these things to me. Before that, I used to not have a clue what I was going to do with myself.

I want to challenge you right now, I want you to think of a childhood dream or goal that you wanted as a kid, and compare that to your dream now. Are they the same? Are they different? What happened between then and now? Did you lose sight of your goal? Did it seem too far away? Did you lose faith? God's plan for you is always good. He never gives you anything you don't want, unless He's trying to build your character. Now that I'm a senior in high school, I'm coming very close to checking off step 1 off my To-Do List and move on to the next step. It feels so close. It feels so real. Whatever dream you may have, never lose sight of it no matter how difficult the road may seem. It's not the journey itself, but the destination that matters. Put your faith in the Lord, delight yourself in Him, and He will give you the desires of your heart. For me, my real true desire is Him. It just took me a long time to see that. I believe that life is a journey towards God, and that no one has the right to insist that you go a certain road. He will direct you. Never lose sight of your dreams, because if you do, you might never see them to be realities.

Lights...Camera...Action

Are we leading performance based lives? I think so. Whenever I go out and talk to some poor chap about how he missed church last week and feels sorry that he misappropriated his time or merely forgot, and that he was going to be eternally punished because he missed 1 sweaty guy on a stage spreading the good news to half of an audience listening intently, and the other half texting or on Facebook mobile. This is how I used to feel until a very wise man (Marty Martin, lead pastor of Northstar Church) revealed to me that performance isn't everything. You see dear readers, with our Lord, it doesn't matter if you miss a Sunday because God lives in YOU and ME. If you think that if you go to church every Sunday that God will "love you more", then you need to retreat to the safety of Starbucks and order a triple fudge crap-a-chino whilst I explain to you what RELATIONSHIP is. We lead performance-based lives everyday. "If I don't do good enough, people won't respect me"or "if I wear these name brand clothes, perhaps she'll like me more"or even "if I don't make enough money people won't view me as the self righteous, pretentious snob that I want everyone to perceive me as". My point? Stop trying to win God's love because guess what? You already have it! Read Psalm 136. "His faithful love endures forever". Put it to you this way, let's say you forget you and your significant other's anniversary, does this mean you don't love her? Of course not! The love is still there, even when you forget. Let's say you're a father and your son commits an unspeakable act that requires a good bruising on his backside, does this mean you stop loving him? Of course not. That's just like God the Father and us when we sin. He doesn't hate the sinner, he just hates the sin. And there's nothing you can do to make Him stop loving you, or love you more.  "Peter began to speak: 'I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism"  --Acts 10: 34. God loves us. Bottom line. And there's nothing you can do about it. Stop putting on a show for Him. He knows what your doing. He sees into the hearts of all men, you cannot hide from the Creator who made you. There's no amount of serving, volunteering, or putting on a fake smile and fake being sincere about people to their face, and the minute they're gone you and your friends talk about how much you can't stand that person, as soon as said person leaves the room to make God love you more, or make God "un-love" you. So put an end to your silly performance. Spend time with God through His word. Drink it in as if your very life depends on it because truthfully, it does. There is nothing more important in this world than a personal, intimate, practical and real relationship with our Lord. If you don't have that then here's what you should do ASAP:

1. Seek out a pastor
2.Ask him about having a relationship with God, and what you should do
3. Invite Christ to be the Lord and Savior of your life
4. Commit and surrender to Him.

Friends, I have a relationship with the Lord. Let me tell you something, there is nothing in this world that I would trade it for. I would give everything that I own, and everything that I have to Him because everything that I have, and everything that I am is FROM Him. I wouldn't be here without Him. And I've heard God speak in my life. The feeling I cannot put into words. God is a God of love, forgiveness, kindness, mercy and soo much more. Stop living a lie, and come back to Him, He knows your struggles, your pains and your problems, and He was crucified on a cross for you and I so that we may live through Him. Don't listen to what the world tells you, performing won't get you anything but stress. God loves you. When you were born, when you turned away from Him, and He'll love you way after your dead. Question is, do you love Him back?

15 So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Tend My lambs."

16 He said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Shepherd My sheep."

17 He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus said to him, "Tend My sheep.


--John 21:15-17

Hearing God's voice

In my previous blog, I told you about how God spoke through me and used me to impact someone and my brother's sudden commitment to read the bible. For the longest time I struggled with hearing God speak. Today and last night, I have heard Him, and seen how faithful He is. For the longest time I have been beating my head against a wall over what college to go to lately, either Baptist College or Gulf Coast. Ironically, this was brought up in my small group last night and Roy told me that circumstances come up when God tries to speak to us. God speaks through the Holy Spirit, the Bible, circumstances and the church. Well a couple days ago Ray told me that it would be easier and cheaper to go to Gulf Coast. Today in the mail, I just got a letter from Gulf Coast congratulating me for graduating high school and how much they would love for me to attend Gulf Coast....I haven't even graduated yet! God just used this to reveal to me what He wants me to do. I truly believe He wants me to go to Gulf Coast for a while. God has been faithful and has been working through me and has done BIG things for me. I prayed to Him saying how much I wanted to hear His voice and for Him to give me guidance and allow me to experience Him in ways I could never imagine. Last night, today and pretty much these past couple months He has been doing just that. God has blessed me soo much and to Him be all the glory. My Lord has humbled me and touched me in such a way that I have a new focus on following Him. I have heard Him speak...and let me tell you it is an amazing feeling.

A Godly Encounter

Last night the most amazing thing happened to me. I invited one of my friends (whom didn't have an intimate relationship with God) to my small group last night. I needed a ride and it was a great opportunity for her to come and get a taste of what my church was all about and meet one of my mentors. On the way over there I learned that she never got baptized. So we talked about it and now she wants to get baptized. Once we got to Roy's small group, she seemed a little out of place, but after we got done she told me she really enjoyed it. I took her to Chik-Fil-A (a very Northstar thing to do) and we had further conversations about life and then we finally got to talking about this guy that she was trying to get with for 4 years. A guy who treated her horribly and used her. I prayed to God to give me the words, and he was faithful. I began saying words that I had no earthly idea where they came from. I began saying things about her life that I didn't know about. She began crying and she asked me "how do you know all this?" I knew about her relationship with her family, best friend. I knew about who she was and her secrets. It's like I knew her inside and out....but the thing is I don't. The Holy Spirit came alive in me last night and I began saying things that would have never come from me. I began telling her about having a personal, intimate relationship with God, for her not to worry and just trust in Him. She said that every thing that I said, I said it as she was thinking it. As if I were reading her mind. It was incredible. She told me I impacted her, and that she wants to follow God. After all this happened, God showed me another amazing thing. My brother went to work but he texted me this:

"If you buy me a bible for Father's Day, I promise I'll read it"

God was sooo faithful and good to me. He came alive in my heart to help impact a girl who needed healing and to hear about God. And then impact my brother who wanted nothing to do with it. God accomplished something in me that I could do alone. God is truly all powerful and He never ceases to amaze me. And He can work through you too, all you have to do is surrender and ask him to come into your life and fill you with the spirit. And I promise you, you'll never be the same again. I am forever changed by this experience.

The Bigger Picture

My whole life, I've been that person who always plans ahead, and thinks for the future. I always think about my life and what it will be like and who I will be with. But God revealed to me that my plans for me are not what He plans for me. You see, I always think or plan ahead but it's the "looking-back-and-seeing-how-I-got-here" I always overlook. I look back at my life and remember my struggle of what I wanted to do for a living. I wanted to be a pharmacist, then a doctor, then a computer engineer, the list goes on. I always THOUGHT about what I wanted to do, but God KNEW what I was created for. God's plan for me is far greater than anything I could ever dream of. God has made it evident to me that I am called into ministry. I only saw from my point of view, I never even thought to look at it from God's point of view. He showed me the bigger picture. That I need to wake up and stop worrying about what I think I should do and trust Him in what He knows what I need to do. If you told me a couple years ago that I would be called into ministry, I'd call you crazy. I also didn't think I would be involved with music. Look at me now. I'm 17, called into ministry and into music. Totally dependent on God. I don't have to worry anymore about what to do with my life. I thought I had no purpose, but God showed me otherwise. Call me naive, but I also thought I knew who I was going to marry. And yes, I've heard the talk that I'm too young more than once. Though I figured that a lot of people marry their high school sweethearts at this age, I mean my parents did, so why not me? We broke up, and it took me a LONG time but God revealed to me that even though He used her in His plan for me, she wasn't for me. Rick Warren said that "God sometimes removes people from your life to protect you from something, don't chase after them". The bottom line? Don't think you know everything because what you think you know may be different than what God KNOWS. Look at it from God's view, and not just your own. 

All it takes, is Faith.

Lately in my life, God has been working soo much that sometimes it's hard to keep up or follow. He gave me the great opportunity to Intern for Ray and Destree in Axis. I got to speak for the first time ever and teach the beatitude "blessed are the merciful". It was an awesome and comfortable experience. I had Roy, Lance and Ray all pray for me to do well and not stumble over my words. Roy put some things into perspective for me, he asked me that if I did in fact, stumble over my words, and God had used that sentence to impact someone's life, that if I would be ok with that? And that it's not about how well I do, but how well I try. You see, I doubted God when I was scared about speaking. I was afraid that I would do horrible and make a fool of myself when I should have just trusted God. I do have a guilty confession though, I didn't prepare my message as best as I should have though. To better enhance my performance on stage I drank a whole monster, and I don't know if it was the Monster or the Holy Spirit but man I came alive on that stage. I got emotional and words began flowing from my mouth as if I knew exactly what all to say. God whispered the words into my heart and I spoke them. It was amazing how God was faithful when I was doubtful. It reminded me of the story in Matthew of how Jesus told the disciples to row to the other side of Bethsaida, while he went on a mountain to worship God. The disciples got caught in a storm and for 4 nights Jesus watched them. He finally walked out across the water and his original idea was to walk right past them. The disciples saw Jesus and cried out "it's a ghost!" and they were afraid. But Jesus said to them "Take courage. It is I, do not be afraid". Peter then said to Jesus "Lord if it's you, tell me to come to you on the water". Then Jesus simply said "come".  Peter got out of the boat and began walking on the water towards Jesus, but when he saw the wind, he was afraid and began to sink. He cried out "Lord, save me!" Jesus reached out his hand and caught him and said to Peter "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"
 This story is soo much like our lives. Imagine, your out on a boat, and it's pitch black dark all around you and  you're caught in a storm for 4 nights. When we come across struggles, that is the storm, when we are afraid, that is our doubt. But then Jesus, who comes through the storm says in a kind and gentle voice and says: "Take courage, it is I. Come". We want to go out on the water and join Him, but when we see our struggle we doubt and that's when we sink. Sink into deeper trouble and worry. But Jesus will catch you and say "You of little faith, why did you doubt?". Jesus saw me, when I was sinking, and He pulled me out before I drowned. The world saw me at my worst, and left me. Christ saw me and loved me, and picked me up out of the water. Sometimes, I worry. Sometimes I'm afraid. And sometimes, I sink. I doubt. But God always picks me up out of the water. He is always faithful. All it takes is faith, and God will do amazing things through you. Ministry was the last thing I thought I was ever going to do. I never grew up in a Christian home. We believed but never went to church or did Christian things. Now look at me, I'm called to ministry. If you would have told me that a year ago, I'd call you nuts. Ray told me that failure was just an opportunity for others to pour into your life. And to learn. Mistakes are just ways that reveal to you how to improve. I don't want to be "of little faith" anymore. I want to trust God in all aspects of my life. It can be hard sometimes because God's ways or plans may not always be clear or obvious. Jesus told these random fishermen to come and leave everything you know behind and follow Him. They left their families, homes and lives behind to follow a dude they never even met before. If someone came up to you and claimed to be the son of God, and told you to drop everything you had, leave everything behind and to follow him...would you do it? Faith, it's hard to have, and easy to lose. But just rest and know, that God is faithful if you are faithful to Him. And he will always come through your storm and say "Take courage, and take my hand. I won't let you drown".

Lost then found

I wasn't always this Godly
Not even on Sunday
I kept You in the back of my mind
Like a fairy tale
I believed in You
I knew OF You
but I wasn't after Your heart
I didn't know You, as I know You now
I went my own way
made my fair share of stupid mistakes
Lost myself
the world left me cold and broken
battered and bruised
empty and lonely
I was at my worst
yet, You saw me in my best
You found me
When I lost myself
You loved me
when no one cared
You saved me
from a life filled with sin
You redeemed me
You knew who I was
when I haven't had the slightest clue who
I thought I had no purpose
Yet, You saw potential in me
You lifted me in Your arms
and held me close
You took my death
and gave me life again
I am reborn
through You
You brought me to Your home
I now call my own
A guiding light
with people I now call my family
People who love me
Not for what I was
but for who I am
Same love You showed me
You showed me
opened my eyes
I know You now
Savior Lord
Christ
Son of God
My King
I was lost
yet You found me
Jesus, You are my virtue
You are my king
Christ, You are my love
Savior, You have saved me

Experiencing God

I'm in a small group under Roy Mansfield, and we're studying a book called "Experiencing God". We meet on Wednesdays every week to discuss what we've learned as we do a 5 day devotional over the course of the week, each day focuses on a specific lesson. We just got done with the first week and I've experienced God in many ways that I've never even dreamed of. I learned that God wants me to work "with" Him and not just for Him. In one of my previous blogs I shared with you all how I got to bond with a mentor of mine. The imagery of the analogy of Roy and I scrubbing the deck was so fitting. God wants me to scrub the deck while He sprays the hose, and vice versa. He wants me to work WITH Him and not just FOR Him. Not only did Roy and I complete something together for a good cause, but we bonded and shared personal experiences with each other through God. We both got to experience God that day. Another lesson that I've learned, not only cognitively, but through experience was this: "God invites us to work with Him through a crisis of belief that requites faith and action". I had a friend who was being influenced by secular testimonies of people who supposedly went to Heaven and Hell. He felt prompted to send me an exuberant influx of these videos to me and began to influence me and test my beliefs. These videos and my friend's words kept me up at night worrying. I immediately do what I always do when confronted with problems: I sought out Godly council from my mentors. The first person I sought guidance from was my youth pastor (whom I intern for). I was helping him move when my friend messaged me another Heaven testimony. Feeling the guilt inside of how I really felt I told him I could watch no more of these because they tested my faith and what I believe. He promptly called me and told me even more crazy things than he ever said before, things like "The enemy is using this against you" and "he's trying to scare you to put God in a box" and "he's using your mentors as a puppet". I shook this off as more lunacy which made me even more worried for my friend. I sought out Ray's take on that matter. He told me the story of his friend who had gone down a very similar path. He gave me the council I needed and told me to seek out the advice of someone who specialized in this kind of situations, Roy Mansfield. Roy is very wise, not only biblically, but wise in the way of the world. Roy revealed to me the best course of action and also showed me scripture that dealt with the EXACT same situation and resolution for it that I needed. It was amazing how specific God's Word was to me. Seeking Godly council is a biblical course of action for a man to take.This crisis of belief led me to take action. Which was exactly what the lesson I was studying on. God opened up my eyes on many things and allowed me to experience not only Him, but things that taught a lot about myself and my faith. God wants us to experience Him, question is, are we listening?

There is no art, only artists?

This has been boggling my brain for the past couple months. No art, only artists? Can such a intrepid statement be soo true, that we've had the wrong idea for centuries? That's like saying there is no Starbucks, only coffee. No color, only what we see. No music, only sound. So, if there is no art only artists, do we make art what it is? Or does art make us make it what it is? Do we conform to what our idea of art is? Or does our own creativity make what others perceive as art? It is like questioning reality. Does who we are make what is existence, or does existence make us who we are? Such rapt thoughts keep me up at night. Even now it is hard to describe what my intention is for your interpretative consumption. I guess it is up to debate and opinion to answer this question: Do artists make the art? Or does the art make the artist?

Developing Relationships part 2

Today God has opened another opportunity to build a bond between another person. Today I knew that I was going to work today in the office with Destree, who is a leader in Axis. Now, I knew OF her, but I never really got to KNOW her. I noticed a situation that was evident and felt that I needed to speak with her about it, not only to help her out and reach out to her, but also break the ice as there was an awkward silence in the air. So, as we spoke, we really shared with each other deep, philosophical thoughts and ideas that was really refreshing. I always enjoy a nice deep, meaningful conversation. We really connected and it was just easier to talk to her the more I got to know her. I just hope that I'm a person that she can always share whatever is on her heart, or just a listening ear when she needs it. She has a huge heart and pure spirit, that shines through her personality. I'll be praying for her in her struggles and hope that God opens up to her His unfailing plan to her.

Again, I strongly believe that developing bonds and relationships on a personal basis is vitally important. It's a thing of love. Jesus did that wherever He went. He loved people, he didn't shun the weak, the diseased, the uncool or the broken and lost. He loved people. I think it's time we tear down walls, and start building bridges. I'm happy and thankful for the time talking with Destree, and I only hope I can make more of these trust bonds with other people. Trust is soo hard to come by these days. Trust is more easily lost than given. The absence of integrity in humanity is responsible. People can't trust because people can't be trusted. But, be that as it may, we still need to be open to people, because you just might come across someone who can be trusted.

Developing Relationships

I had the most wonderful opportunity to serve the other day and do missions work with Axis Student Ministry. We went to a place called "House of Grace Maternity Home" which is essentially a place designed for pregnant teens who have no where else to go. The youngest girl they had was a 10 year old girl. Can you imagine? One of my esteemed pastors came with us, Pastor Roy Mansfield, who is the pastor of spiritual development at Northstar. For the longest time I looked up to Roy, and had the opportunity to speak with him many times, but never on a personal basis. I felt as if God were telling me that I need to be close with him. I started attending his small group and that was a good start. But after I had finished raking up some leaves, he approached me and asked if I would help in a task. At that moment, I knew God was giving me an opportunity to develop a close reltionship to an esteemed mentor. The job we were assigned with was to clean a wooden deck saturated with mold. As we began, we started talking and got to know one another quite well. It felt amazing to develop such a bond. I can only imagine that this is what God intends for all of us to do. To develop relationship with not only Him, but everyone. Stop building walls and start building bridges. Roy is an extremely wise man, with a awesome background story. I really enjoyed hearing his stories and past experiences and really get to know him. And, in the process of this, not only did we create an awesome bond, we both got to serve our Lord by serving the House of Grace. Needless to say, cleaning an entire wooden deck with only a grill scraper is a pretty long and tedious task, but what made it worthwhile were these 3 things:

1) Serving
2)Developing a bond with someone
3)Growing and learning new things

So 2 great things were accomplished that day, God's will, and a chance to bond with an esteemed mentor. God really does work in awesome and unimaginable ways, and everyday He humbles me to a new degree.

Green eyed angel

An angel
is what you are
sent from heaven
Heaven
is what your embrace feels like to me


Each day, I feel my hope slip away
Thinking that you'll stay for another day
I hope in that chance that there's a way
But it fades as tomorrow becomes today


You're soo set in your ways
thinking that it's hopeless anyways,
living each week by the days
there's nothing more to say.


Ineffable beauty
skin is warm to the touch
you say your cold 
I say you need someone to warm you
not only in temperature
but in love


That smile, oh that smile
how it haunts my dreams at night
it keeps warm in a cold world
it keeps me alive
Green eyes, reflect ocean green seas
If only you knew how much you mean to me

What it means to be a leader

The task of the leader is to get his people from where they are to where they have not been. The task of leadership is not to put greatness into humanity, but to elicit it, for the greatness is already there. Leadership must be based on goodwill. Goodwill does not mean posturing and, least of all, pandering to the mob. It means obvious and wholehearted commitment to helping followers. We are tired of leaders we fear, tired of leaders we love, and of tired of leaders who let us take liberties with them. What we need for leaders are men of the heart who are so helpful that they, in effect, do away with the need of their jobs. But leaders like that are never out of a job, never out of followers. Strange as it sounds, great leaders gain authority by giving it away. A good leader delegates, rather than separates control. Leadership is intentional influence. Leadership cannot really be taught. It can only be learned. A good leader must have specific qualities. A good leader must have charisma. Nobody likes an unlikable person. Charisma influences the thought and actions of those who follow. When people who follow you like you, they respect you, when they respect you, they'll follow you. A good leader must be confident in his or her abilities.The leader must know, must know that he knows, and must be able to make it abundantly clear to those around him that he knows. If a leader is unsure of something, that will make those who follow him unsure as well, and will result in confusion. A good leader must also be strict when he needs to be. To be able to set the tone when the time is necessary for it. Not to say that a leader must act like a dictator, but rather as a strong voice over the noise of calamity. Leadership is lifting a person's vision to higher sights, the raising of a person's performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations. Also, a good leader must also be a good follower. Not only must he establish a common goal or direction, but he must also listen to his followers for insight or opinion. Shutting that out also shuts out their respect. A good leader must be able to think on the go. Premeditated reactions are a rare luxury, and time is an even rarer commodity. You must be able to analyze the situation, pinpoint the exact source of the problem, calculate solutions, pick the best course of action, and execute it, all within a moments time. Good leadership should never be based on fear, fear only leads to unrest and lack of cooperation. It is a team effort between leader and follower, working for the same goal. Respect is the currency of leadership. Rather than fear, reverence can spark more reaction. A leader must be an example, for those to look up to. A person to depend on when they don't have the answers. A good leader must be consistent. Consistency makes or breaks success. If you are not consistent, people can't rely on you. Basically, your followers must be able to reflect your actions, to mirror your movements. This codependency not only strengthens them, but the leader as well. Sometimes, doing everything for a person, although may seem helpful, can actually be hurtful to the learner. Some things must be experience through, simply enough, experience. A leader must have a voice of guidance, not a direct hand in the actions of those who follow. The best example of leadership I could ever give you, is the example of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Greatest man in history, named Jesus, had no servants, yet they called him Master. Had no degree, yet they called him Teacher. Had no medicines, yet they called him Healer. He had no army, yet kings feared Him. He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world. He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him..... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.