For the past few weeks, on my way home from work, everyday I pass by an older homeless man who sits on the corner in the same spot like clockwork. He's at least in his late 50's, with a long wiry beard and skin reddened by the sun. At first, I would just ignore this guy but felt bad for him, but the more I began to see him everyday, the more and more I began to take interest in him.Who was this man? What's his story? Why does he sit in the same spot every day? More importantly, does he know Jesus? I drove past him one day and saw him sitting in his usual place, and as I drove right past him, I felt this insatiable nudging, almsot as if an inaudible voice was saying to me "buy him food". Now, I'm extremely broke from college right now, and I'm hurt for cash. In my mind I thought: "this guy might actually have more money on him than I do right now". The feeling remained. It burned in my mind all day at work the next day, and even when I got home. Today, I decided that I was going to listen to God. On my lunch break I drove past his usual spot and he was there, so I went to McDonalds and got him a burger and a large Sweet tea. I had no idea what was going to happen, I had all sorts of scenarios and thoughts playing in my mind, I didn't know if this guy was nuts or anything, but I was intent on doing it. As I drove to the spot where he was and he was actually walking down the street towards the store, I quickly parked and caught up with him. As I approached him, he noticed me and watched as I came towars him. I could clearly see his face. It's a face I'll never forget. It's been weathered from age and the sun and a hard life. He had deep sunken eyes that have seen better days, he had scars and boils on his face. He had a tattoo of an anchor on his arm that was probably as old as he was. He carried a jacket on his shoulder, and when I spoke with him, he had a voice that spoke with utter disdain. I asked him his name, and he told me it was Pete, and I then asked him how his day was, and that's when he let me have it, I did not see this coming AT ALL.
"I'm F%$#*^@ pissed man" he told me. When I asked why, he told me about a guy who asked him for a dollar then took 3 instead from him to go buy him a beer. He told me that he was waiting for the guy to come out so he could "kill him". He noticed the bag of McDonald's I had and said "I'd sure like to eat something right now". When I told him that I got the bag for him, he couldn't believe it. He took the bag and drink with sheer joy, after letting out a vulgar squal of delight. I appologized for what the man that took his money did to him, and then he noticed a prostitute walking down the street, and told me of how he would like to defile her. I knew what I was getting myself into, but I never thought this would happen. Pete was a vulgar guy, that has been on the streets for a long time. I didn't mention Jesus or God or anything. I just wanted to show him that he hasn't been forgotten about. That peopel still care, and that God loves him. I told him not to hurt the guy too much and I told him goodbye. He thanked me for the food, and walked with me back to his spot and to where my car was. As I drove away, I watched him drink his sweet tea, and he gave me the thumbs up. I don't know if that is the last I will see of Pete, but I do know that he is very far away from the heart of God. I just wanted to love on him for just a little bit. Althought the meeting didn't go as I quite expected, at least I know that he ate that day. When I got back to the office I prayed for Pete, and told myself that I would pray for Pete constantly. I don't know what impact I had on Pete, but I hope it's a positive one. I pray that God moves in a major way in his life.
I'm glad I lisened to the Holy Spirit. I might have saved a guy from a beat down.
Luke 3:11 " John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.”
Friday, April 26, 2013
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Rebekah Elizabeth
My life story isn't what you would consider a happy one. My life has been riddled with heartbreak and pain, confusion and loss. Before I had no idea who I was or why I was or what my life would look like later on. I had this unending feeling of loneliness, that even while I was surrounded by people that I love very dearly, I still felt alone. Being a Christian, I was subjected to the usual cliche encouragement of "Oh don't worry, you'll find someone". I never truly saw myself loving anyone the way that I wanted to, but that all changed when I met the love of my life, Rebekah Elizabeth.
Now, I know what you're probably thinking, and maybe you're right, "wow Zach, such a sappy introduction"...well yeah but hey, it works. How I met Rebekah is something straight out of a teen movie, and nothing short of God's work in my life. I met her on the very popular site Instagram, but I actually knew her from high school, where she was literally the hottest girl in the school. Instagram is mostly used to take pictures of your food and give it a crappy sepia tint to it. Anyways, one day I come across this girl who out of the millions of people on instagram, she stops me in my tracks and catches my eye. It was one of those gay movie moments where the guy sees the girl and time stops all around him and all he sees is her, kinda like in Fast Time At Ridgemount High when the chick steps out of the pool in super slo-mo. I immediately knew that she was the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen in the entire world, the kind of girl that is light-years out my league. So, I began the pathetic and almost laughable attempt to get her attention by occasionally commenting on her many pictures of her posing, saying STUPID things like "wow...you're really beautiful" (actual quote). To me, that wasn't sufficient to tell this girl, she was more than just "beautiful", she had this ineffable grace and beauty about her that was just so sacred, that no amount of words could ever describe her or bring her justice. I was in love the moment I saw her, and crazy as it sounds, I knew somehow deep in the recesses of my mind that I knew I had to have her as my own. She was the only one to this day that still has that effect on me, where I have everything I want to say, but can't say it because she twists my tongue up. I had no idea what she thought of me, and truth be told I thought she thought I was creepy and that was going to be the end of it, that the girl that I wanted most whom I had no idea who she was but still wanted her was going to bid me farewell...but no. She surprised me, she gave me HER number and decided to text me....What? I was shocked. She made it easy for me. Then she takes it a step further by telling me she wants to go out with me...OMFG VICTORY!
Before I actually see her at Panera (I know fancy right?) , I start hyper-ventilating, I actually had to calm myself down and tell myself to act cool. She gets out of the car, and there she is, she was beautiful...and shorter than what I remembered, and I hear the softest, sweetest most angelic voice I ever heard in my life, the kind of voice that a mother has to calm her child, like a soft breeze in the grass. Her voice was kind and gentle, it was pure and sincere. It made me melt honestly. I feel in love with it, and to this day, when I call her (SPOILER ALERT: We are together btw) I always get that same effect. To me, it's the best sound in the world. She was funny! My GOD was she funny. We hit it off immediately, and all my initial fear just melted in that sweet soft voice, I knew from that moment, that she was the one for me. I knew I loved her.. I found the girl that I've been praying about since I was 13 years old (when I finally decided that chicks were my new thing.) I always imagined in my dreams that I would be with a woman with dark brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, a wonderful body, a sweet voice, but most importanly...a big heart. With me, looks don't apply (although they DEFINITELY help). Someone who loves me for me, and not what I have or what I do. Someone who cares for me and takes care of me. Rebekah is and does just all of that. She is the perfect girl to me.
Fast forward a couple months and here we are. I fall in love with her every single day that I'm alive, and I have decided WAY ahead of time that she was it for me. I want to make her my wife. I always knew from the moment I met her, that she was the one. This love is real. It's not some fairy tale bull, or puppy love, half-ass romance, this is something real and alive. God has blessed me with something that I never deserved, but now that I have I am never letting go. She puts up with my weirdness, my awkwardness, and sometimes my straight up retardedness, but in the end we both love each other. I'm in love with this girl, and I want to spend the rest of my days with her. I want to be the man she always wanted and needed. I want to be wanted by her. I want to make everything better for her, and give her a new life. I want to wake up every morning next to her and hold her from behind, kiss her softly and tell her while she's half-awake that I love her, and that I'm hers. I want to always make her smile, the smile that makes my whole world bright and my heart drop to my feet. Whenever I'm with her, my heart races, and whenever she's not there, I miss her. Not in the normal sense, I miss her like I miss a part of myself. I'm not me when she's not here. I find identity in her. I've never in my entire life been this happy and found soo much joy.
Bekah, I know you're reading this. We've had our moments babygirl, you and I both know that we're not perfect and everything won't always be perfect. But I just want you to know that I love you more than anything else in this world, I made a promise to you.
A promise to always love you, no matter what
A promise to always be there for you
A promise to accept the good and the bad
A promise to be faithful
A promise to be loyal
A promise to never leave or give up on you
A promise to come after you, and that we'll always be together
I aim to keep these promises. You're perfect to me in every way, and I wouldn't change a thing about you except your last name (that's gotta go). I love everything about you, from your long hair that gets in my face when we snuggle, to your perfectly kept eyebrows, to your soft and SEXY lips (OM NOM NOM NOM) to your beautiful amber/brown eyes that I get lost in, to your perfect smile that shows your perfect heart, to your southern accent, to your quirks, to your heart melting laugh that's contagious and all the other things I can't fit on here because I'm getting carpal tunnel from typing all this. I'm in love with you, and I choose you, always. You're it for me babe, and I want to be it for you. You've saved my life you know, from misery and loneliness. You're my whole entire world, and nothing will tear us apart.
Rebekah Elizabeth, I can't thank you enough for changing my whole world, and I'll never be the same.
I love you.
Now, I know what you're probably thinking, and maybe you're right, "wow Zach, such a sappy introduction"...well yeah but hey, it works. How I met Rebekah is something straight out of a teen movie, and nothing short of God's work in my life. I met her on the very popular site Instagram, but I actually knew her from high school, where she was literally the hottest girl in the school. Instagram is mostly used to take pictures of your food and give it a crappy sepia tint to it. Anyways, one day I come across this girl who out of the millions of people on instagram, she stops me in my tracks and catches my eye. It was one of those gay movie moments where the guy sees the girl and time stops all around him and all he sees is her, kinda like in Fast Time At Ridgemount High when the chick steps out of the pool in super slo-mo. I immediately knew that she was the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen in the entire world, the kind of girl that is light-years out my league. So, I began the pathetic and almost laughable attempt to get her attention by occasionally commenting on her many pictures of her posing, saying STUPID things like "wow...you're really beautiful" (actual quote). To me, that wasn't sufficient to tell this girl, she was more than just "beautiful", she had this ineffable grace and beauty about her that was just so sacred, that no amount of words could ever describe her or bring her justice. I was in love the moment I saw her, and crazy as it sounds, I knew somehow deep in the recesses of my mind that I knew I had to have her as my own. She was the only one to this day that still has that effect on me, where I have everything I want to say, but can't say it because she twists my tongue up. I had no idea what she thought of me, and truth be told I thought she thought I was creepy and that was going to be the end of it, that the girl that I wanted most whom I had no idea who she was but still wanted her was going to bid me farewell...but no. She surprised me, she gave me HER number and decided to text me....What? I was shocked. She made it easy for me. Then she takes it a step further by telling me she wants to go out with me...OMFG VICTORY!
Before I actually see her at Panera (I know fancy right?) , I start hyper-ventilating, I actually had to calm myself down and tell myself to act cool. She gets out of the car, and there she is, she was beautiful...and shorter than what I remembered, and I hear the softest, sweetest most angelic voice I ever heard in my life, the kind of voice that a mother has to calm her child, like a soft breeze in the grass. Her voice was kind and gentle, it was pure and sincere. It made me melt honestly. I feel in love with it, and to this day, when I call her (SPOILER ALERT: We are together btw) I always get that same effect. To me, it's the best sound in the world. She was funny! My GOD was she funny. We hit it off immediately, and all my initial fear just melted in that sweet soft voice, I knew from that moment, that she was the one for me. I knew I loved her.. I found the girl that I've been praying about since I was 13 years old (when I finally decided that chicks were my new thing.) I always imagined in my dreams that I would be with a woman with dark brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, a wonderful body, a sweet voice, but most importanly...a big heart. With me, looks don't apply (although they DEFINITELY help). Someone who loves me for me, and not what I have or what I do. Someone who cares for me and takes care of me. Rebekah is and does just all of that. She is the perfect girl to me.
Fast forward a couple months and here we are. I fall in love with her every single day that I'm alive, and I have decided WAY ahead of time that she was it for me. I want to make her my wife. I always knew from the moment I met her, that she was the one. This love is real. It's not some fairy tale bull, or puppy love, half-ass romance, this is something real and alive. God has blessed me with something that I never deserved, but now that I have I am never letting go. She puts up with my weirdness, my awkwardness, and sometimes my straight up retardedness, but in the end we both love each other. I'm in love with this girl, and I want to spend the rest of my days with her. I want to be the man she always wanted and needed. I want to be wanted by her. I want to make everything better for her, and give her a new life. I want to wake up every morning next to her and hold her from behind, kiss her softly and tell her while she's half-awake that I love her, and that I'm hers. I want to always make her smile, the smile that makes my whole world bright and my heart drop to my feet. Whenever I'm with her, my heart races, and whenever she's not there, I miss her. Not in the normal sense, I miss her like I miss a part of myself. I'm not me when she's not here. I find identity in her. I've never in my entire life been this happy and found soo much joy.
Bekah, I know you're reading this. We've had our moments babygirl, you and I both know that we're not perfect and everything won't always be perfect. But I just want you to know that I love you more than anything else in this world, I made a promise to you.
A promise to always love you, no matter what
A promise to always be there for you
A promise to accept the good and the bad
A promise to be faithful
A promise to be loyal
A promise to never leave or give up on you
A promise to come after you, and that we'll always be together
I aim to keep these promises. You're perfect to me in every way, and I wouldn't change a thing about you except your last name (that's gotta go). I love everything about you, from your long hair that gets in my face when we snuggle, to your perfectly kept eyebrows, to your soft and SEXY lips (OM NOM NOM NOM) to your beautiful amber/brown eyes that I get lost in, to your perfect smile that shows your perfect heart, to your southern accent, to your quirks, to your heart melting laugh that's contagious and all the other things I can't fit on here because I'm getting carpal tunnel from typing all this. I'm in love with you, and I choose you, always. You're it for me babe, and I want to be it for you. You've saved my life you know, from misery and loneliness. You're my whole entire world, and nothing will tear us apart.
Rebekah Elizabeth, I can't thank you enough for changing my whole world, and I'll never be the same.
I love you.
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