Pete the Homeless Guy

For the past few weeks, on my way home from work, everyday I pass by an older homeless man who sits on the corner in the same spot like clockwork. He's at least in his late 50's, with a long wiry beard and skin reddened by the sun. At first, I would just ignore this guy but felt bad for him, but the more I began to see him everyday, the more and more I began to take interest in him.Who was this man? What's his story? Why does he sit in the same spot every day? More importantly, does he know Jesus? I drove past him one day and saw him sitting in his usual place, and as I drove right past him, I felt this insatiable nudging, almsot as if an inaudible voice was saying to me "buy him food". Now, I'm extremely broke from college right now, and I'm hurt for cash. In my mind I thought: "this guy might actually have more money on him than I do right now". The feeling remained. It burned in my mind all day at work the next day, and even when I got home. Today, I decided that I was going to listen to God. On my lunch break I drove past his usual spot and he was there, so I went to McDonalds and got him a burger and a large Sweet tea. I had no idea what was going to happen, I had all sorts of scenarios and thoughts playing in my mind, I didn't know if this guy was nuts or anything, but I was intent on doing it. As I drove to the spot where he was and he was actually walking down the street towards the store, I quickly parked and caught up with him. As I approached him,  he noticed me and watched as I came towars him. I could clearly see his face. It's a face I'll never forget. It's been weathered from age and the sun and a hard life. He had deep sunken eyes that have seen better days, he had scars and boils on his face. He had a tattoo of an anchor on his arm that was probably as old as he was. He carried a jacket on his shoulder, and when I spoke with him, he had a voice that spoke with utter disdain. I asked him his name, and he told me it was Pete, and I then asked him how his day was, and that's when he let me have it, I did not see this coming AT ALL.

"I'm F%$#*^@ pissed man" he told me. When I asked why, he told me about a guy who asked him for a dollar then took 3 instead from him to go buy him a beer. He told me that he was waiting for the guy to come out so he could "kill him". He noticed the bag of McDonald's I had and said "I'd sure like to eat something right now". When I told him that I got the bag for him, he couldn't believe it. He took the bag and drink with sheer joy, after letting out a vulgar squal of delight. I appologized for what the man that took his money did to him, and then he noticed a prostitute walking down the street, and told me of how he would like to defile her. I knew what I was getting myself into, but I never thought this would happen. Pete was a vulgar guy, that has been on the streets for a long time. I didn't mention Jesus or God or anything. I just wanted to show him that he hasn't been forgotten about. That peopel still care, and that God loves him. I told him not to hurt the guy too much and I told him goodbye. He thanked me for the food, and walked with me back to his spot and to where my car was. As I drove away, I watched him drink his sweet tea, and he gave me the thumbs up. I don't know if that is the last I will see of Pete, but I do know that he is very far away from the heart of God. I just wanted to love on him for just a little bit. Althought the meeting didn't go as I quite expected, at least I know that he ate that day. When I got back to the office I prayed for Pete, and told myself that I would pray for Pete constantly. I don't know what impact I had on Pete, but I hope it's a positive one. I pray that God moves in a major way in his life.

I'm glad I lisened to the Holy Spirit. I might have saved a guy from a beat down.

Luke 3:11 " John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.”

Rebekah Elizabeth

My life story isn't what you would consider a happy one. My life has been riddled with heartbreak and pain, confusion and loss. Before I had no idea who I was or why I was or what my life would look like later on. I had this unending feeling of loneliness, that even while I was surrounded by people that I love very dearly, I still felt alone. Being a Christian, I was subjected to the usual cliche encouragement of "Oh don't worry, you'll find someone". I never truly saw myself loving anyone the way that I wanted to, but that all changed when I met the love of my life, Rebekah Elizabeth.

Now, I know what you're probably thinking, and maybe you're right, "wow Zach, such a sappy introduction"...well yeah but hey, it works. How I met Rebekah is something straight out of a teen movie, and nothing short of God's work in my life. I met her on the very popular site Instagram, but I actually knew her from high school, where she was literally the hottest girl in the school. Instagram is mostly used to take pictures of your food and give it a crappy sepia tint to it. Anyways, one day I come across this girl who out of the millions of people on instagram, she stops me in my tracks and catches my eye. It was one of those gay movie moments where the guy sees the girl and time stops all around him and all he sees is her, kinda like in Fast Time At Ridgemount High when the chick steps out of the pool in super slo-mo. I immediately knew that she was the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen in the entire world, the kind of girl that is light-years out my league. So, I began the pathetic and almost laughable attempt to get her attention by occasionally commenting on her many pictures of her posing, saying STUPID things like "wow...you're really beautiful" (actual quote). To me, that wasn't sufficient to tell this girl, she was more than just "beautiful", she had this ineffable grace and beauty about her that was just so sacred, that no amount of words could ever describe her or bring her justice. I was in love the moment I saw her, and crazy as it sounds, I knew somehow deep in the recesses of my mind that I knew I had to have her as my own. She was the only one to this day that still has that effect on me, where I have everything I want to say, but can't say it because she twists my tongue up. I had no idea what she thought of me, and truth be told I thought she thought I was creepy and that was going to be the end of it, that the girl that I wanted most whom I had no idea who she was but still wanted her was going to bid me farewell...but no. She surprised me, she gave me HER number and decided to text me....What? I was shocked. She made it easy for me. Then she takes it a step further by telling me she wants to go out with me...OMFG VICTORY!

Before I actually see her at Panera (I know fancy right?) , I start hyper-ventilating, I actually had to calm myself down and tell myself to act cool. She gets out of the car, and there she is, she was beautiful...and shorter than what I remembered, and I hear the softest, sweetest most angelic voice I ever heard in my life, the kind of voice that a mother has to calm her child, like a soft breeze in the grass. Her voice was kind and gentle, it was pure and sincere. It made me melt honestly. I feel in love with it, and to this day, when I call her (SPOILER ALERT: We are together btw) I always get that same effect. To me, it's the best sound in the world. She was funny! My GOD was she funny. We hit it off immediately, and all my initial fear just melted in that sweet soft voice, I knew from that moment, that she was the one for me. I knew I loved her.. I found the girl that I've been praying about since I was 13 years old (when I finally decided that chicks were my new thing.) I always imagined in my dreams that I would be with a woman with dark brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, a wonderful body, a sweet voice, but most importanly...a big heart. With me, looks don't apply (although they DEFINITELY help). Someone who loves me for me, and not what I have or what I do. Someone who cares for me and takes care of me. Rebekah is and does just all of that. She is the perfect girl to me.

Fast forward a couple months and here we are. I fall in love with her every single day that I'm alive, and I have decided WAY ahead of time that she was it for me. I want to make her my wife. I always knew from the moment I met her, that she was the one. This love is real. It's not some fairy tale bull, or puppy love, half-ass romance, this is something real and alive. God has blessed me with something that I never deserved, but now that I have I am never letting go. She puts up with my weirdness, my awkwardness, and sometimes my straight up retardedness, but in the end we both love each other. I'm in love with this girl, and I want to spend the rest of my days with her. I want to be the man she always wanted and needed. I want to be wanted by her. I want to make everything better for her, and give her a new life. I want to wake up every morning next to her and hold her from behind, kiss her softly and tell her while she's half-awake that I love her, and that I'm hers. I want to always make her smile, the smile that makes my whole world bright and my heart drop to my feet. Whenever I'm with her, my heart races, and whenever she's not there, I miss her. Not in the normal sense, I miss her like I miss a part of myself. I'm not me when she's not here. I find identity in her. I've never in my entire life been this happy and found soo much joy.

Bekah, I know you're reading this. We've had our moments babygirl, you and I both know that we're not perfect and everything won't always be perfect. But I just want you to know that I love you more than anything else in this world, I made a promise to you.
A promise to always love you, no matter what
A promise to always be there for you
A promise to accept the good and the bad
A promise to be faithful
A promise to be loyal
A promise to never leave or give up on you
A promise to come after you, and that we'll always be together

I aim to keep these promises. You're perfect to me in every way, and I wouldn't change a thing about you except your last name (that's gotta go). I love everything about you, from your long hair that gets in my face when we snuggle, to your perfectly kept eyebrows, to your soft and SEXY lips (OM NOM NOM NOM) to your beautiful amber/brown eyes that I get lost in, to your perfect smile that shows your perfect heart, to your southern accent, to your quirks, to your heart melting laugh that's contagious and all the other things I can't fit on here because I'm getting carpal tunnel from typing all this. I'm in love with you, and I choose you, always. You're it for me babe, and I want to be it for you. You've saved my life you know, from misery and loneliness. You're my whole entire world, and nothing will tear us apart.

Rebekah Elizabeth, I can't thank you enough for changing my whole world, and I'll never be the same.
I love you.

Life Investment

As followers of Christ who have been found by God, we are called to go out and find people who are far away from His heart. People matter to God, therefore they had better matter to us. I'm not just talking about Christians either, the lost matter to God as well. So many times, I've seen churches forsake the Gospel and close their doors to the world and just worry about the salvation of those who have already received it. The Gospel is much more than a sermon in a pew or singing songs. It's about actively and intently loving people with the love of Christ and showing them what that love looks like in the kingdom of God. For God so loved us, we who are born of Adamic blood, that is the blood of Adam who fell in Eden, He actively and passionately pursued us, so much so, that He gave apart of His own self to die through the redemptive act of the cross. Those who have accepted Christ as Lord, are commanded that we do the same. Christ paved the way for salvation, and thus we must continue the work and expand His kingdom. Not for the sake of numbers for the church, but for the sake of numbers for eternity. Everyone needs a rescue from something, whether it be sickness, addiction or pain. Life change is brought only when surrender is given and trust is established. Often times, we forget that it is God who saves, and not us. In order for found people to find people, we have to invest in their lives.

People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. Before "popping the question" so to speak on a non-believer, a connection and relationship must be established. It is symbolic with your relationship with Christ. You know Him through His word, accept Him by what He has done, and trust Him in what He will do and what He promises. One of the key principles in discipleship that is crucial to not only in growth with ourselves and God, but with others and their relationship with God is community. Community with other believers to not only worship as one body but also to grow in relation with others as God commands and to grow in relationship to Him. Small groups are an example of this, where we hold each other accountable and exchange wisdom in areas of struggle. Also, community with non-believers, that is, in the sense of intently seeking relationship and reaching out to that person. It can be intimidating, sharing your faith with someone who has never heard the gospel, or someone who is familiar with it and chooses to reject it, which is why building relationship is soo crucial. For 3 months, challenge yourself to find just one person, and just invest in that person. What does it mean to invest? Just like when you invest in a company, it collects interest, and often times it will go through seasons of change and fluctuations. Investing simply means that you realize that the person you are investing in, matters more to you and to God than your own self. To invest simply means to sacrifice your time, talents and maybe even finances at times. Time is the most critical. Making yourself available to someone shows to them that they not only matter to you, but also to God because you took the time and effort to actively pursue that person, and God will honor that.

I often think back when I first accepted Christ. I remember sitting in my uncle's living room, unsure of what I was getting myself into. He read me a couple passages of scripture and at the time, I'll be honest, I had no idea what any of it meant. One thing that stuck out the most though was he took the time with me, and I knew he cared about me. It can be real easy to open up the bible and throw out every verse you can think of, but if that heart is not prepared for it, then chances are it will not recieve it. Love never just happens, it is learned. It is taught. To be do-ers of the Word, and not just hearers, We must know what it means to obey and teach what Jesus taught. How can we do this, if we don't know what He taught. In order for us to pass it on, it must first be in us.

Thank you for reading, God bless you.
If you would like prayer, please send me a Facebook message.

Love Sparks

How does one measure a day? Is it by seconds? Minutes? Hours? Or is it measured by something more? Something more than mere digits. Something timeless. For me, it's measured by brief moments where time blurs out of focus and all recollection of it fades. It's a smile, it's heartbeats. It's love sparks. A day in my life holds no adventures, and no adventure can truly describe one's self. It's in the small things that I truly show who I am, from laughter to butterscotch kisses. To moments shared with someone laughing over absolutely nothing. To moments when you first wake up, and the first thing you hear a voice like a song sung to you as a child whenever you felt alone or afraid. A voice that makes you feel.  When you're with a person that matters most, time holds no bearing, nor does it have meaning except when that moment is as it's end. When time was all you had to worry about, schedules, meetings and deadlines, to have been met by one that makes all of that not matter anymore is something ineffable. To have been met by one that changes your entire life the instant you encounter them, that give you a whole new perspective on everything. Someone who unknowingly heals the wounds in your soul left by others with false promises and shattered memories. Love is waking up and feeling the warmth of the person next to you, or the soft kiss in the dark of the night that sends you into a trance of reliving the day just spent. Love, as God intended, permeates the soul and instills in you the desire to be better for that person. Love isn't in the fear of losing that person, but in the security of knowing you won't. To truly experience this is one of God's greatest gifts and pleasures, that has unfortunately been taken for granted or perverted into something else entirely. It's the collection of the simple things that magnify the bigger things. I can honestly say in my own personal life, I have been met by one who does this for me daily. Someone for the very first time, I can look at and admit what my heart has been desperately desiring to admit. I can admit what I feel to her whenever I look at her, with no fear of rejection or judgement. I can for once be myself, and she gives me freedom. She has given me a joy and happiness that I've never experienced outside the glory of God, and she gives me peace. She is everything that I ever hoped, asked and prayed for. To me, she means the world.

Men are often looked down upon for admitting what they feel, because it's often viewed as a sign of weakness and vulnerability. This is a lie developed by the enemy. I see it as strength. A form of freedom and masculinity in the form of the love of Christ. Women are something to be treasured and celebrated, not seen or viewed as what the media depicts them. They are to be enjoyed and cherished, not scrutinized or "fixed". Adam was with Eve in the garden when they fell, and rather than pointing the finger they both took the fall. He was there for her. God calls us to "Love our wives as Christ loved the church" (Eph 5:25) Which would mean sacrificing everything for her. In certain translations of the Greek use of the word "love" in this sense, it is literally translated to "to love dearly, to be well pleased or contented with something. Beloved." God desires all of us to know and be known intimately without fear of rejection or judgement. I thank God for bringing her to me, and for allowing me know someone like that. Someone whom I can share adventures with, laugh about everything and just enjoy life abundantly. A person where laying in bed with for hours is more appealing than a night on the town. Someone to worship the God of the Universe with, and bring glory to His name and make a difference in the lives of others.

Rebekah, if you're reading this, I love you darling. Thank you for coming to my rescue, and being everything I've ever needed.

Making Space

This month my church Northstar is doing a series entitled "Make Space" and is basically going to be explaining how to make space in our lives and remove the unnecessary clutter that sometimes takes up our time and energy. This series couldn't have come at a better time for me because I have SO much clutter in my own personal life that it's not even funny. Last year especially, came with a lot of baggage. Last night at worship rehearsal at our East Bay Campus, Pastor Adam Carter rallied the troops as he always does every Friday night with an encouraging message and a take charge speech. He shared that he recently cleaned out his garage and it gives him the peace of mind knowing that a lot of the useless, unnecessary and unneeded junk was removed, and he now has room to invite people over for ping pong. Although this is seems like a trivial thing, it's very indicative of our own lives.We get so caught up in business meetings, traffic, errands and commitments that we fill our lives up with a hectic schedule and a busy attitude. The more room we take up with these things, the less room we have for ourselves, and more importantly, less room for God.

I had lunch the other day with a long time friend and spiritual mentor of mine, Eric Schrotenboer. This dude has been with me on my walk with Christ from the beginning and has been such a huge blessing to me in my life. When I first met Eric, I knew there something different about him. It wasn't him that was different but something through him that I couldn't explain any way but different. At the time, my walk with Christ had literally just begun and I wasn't at the level of understanding what it was that set him apart from every average person I met. Eric made time for me, no matter what was going on. If I invited him to an event, he would show up. He never said I'm too busy or give me a false yes, he showed up every time. To this day, if I ask him to go to lunch, or just to talk, he'd make time for me. This is SO critical in making relationships with people: making time. Being available to someone means more than "rain check". Being available speaks in volumes to someone more than it is apparent. In the life of Jesus, He always made Himself available. To the blind man, He didn't say that he would catch him later, or that He was too busy. To the leper, He didn't say that He'd love to but _____. He made time. Now, many will argue that Jesus didn't have a job, or kids or school or family to worry about, and while this is true, Luke 9:62 tells us "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God". Basically, if you want to make or keep relationships, you better be available.

I always enjoy having lunch with Eric because whenever we get together we discuss life, theology, ministry, the places we've been and stories we have. I love having lunch with any good friend of mine because in that moment, we are experiencing what God desires for us: community. Which also is a foundation for discipleship. In that moment we both take a small pause in the busy schedule and just breathe and enjoy the simpler things in life that God offers to us freely.Salvation and Discipleship are 2 different things. Salvation is a free gift, we can choose to accept it, but discipleship is a choice that we must diligently work at. We can be safe  by ourselves with eternal life, or we can go out and touch a life who in turn might touch another life, and then we eat at our table in Heaven with all the people we loved in life that we took the time to reach. Community means making time. Relationships require time to grow and to work. Time means being available. Being available means making space. How do we make space? That starts by looking into ourselves and recognizing what needs to go. Do you really need that 3 hours of tv? Or can you call a friend and ask how you can pray for them? Simple things. That's all it really takes. In my own life, I have a lot to sort out but the important thing is I'm making the time to do so, and that is where God comes in and takes care of the rest.

Looking Back: 2012

God has been doing amazing things in the life of Northstar Church, and to hear our lead pastor Marty Martin share such amazing testimonies throughout last year was truly a surreal moment. Last year, over 1,000 people have accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior and close to 200 people have baptized. We were not only able to launch the East Bay Campus, and it get it started, but also the Panama City Beach Campus within such a short amount of time, that I could describe as God's timing and blessing. We were able to raise $2 million dollars through the faithful giving of our Bold Love initiative, and give $15,000 to build 2 foundations for 2 houses for Habitat For Humanity for 2 families. We were able to buy a toy for EVERY single foster child in bay county, which was well over $3,000. We were able to start 2 partner churches in Boca Raton, Florida, and in Boston, which is 2 demographically unchurched areas. We were able to provide our adopted village in Kiu, Kenya with the means to have clean drinking water to be processed throughout the whole village. I can help but stand in awe of what God has accomplished through our church, and it's very amazing to know that God has blessed us to be able to not only spread the Word, but live it out and love on people and help them to see Jesus. I started going to Northstar well over 3 years ago now, back when the Panama City Campus was just regular Northstar, and the idea of starting campuses haven't even been conceived of yet. Back when they had Axis Student Ministries. It's very surreal to think that now we have 3 campuses around our city to be able to go directly  into the different communities and minister to the lost and the needy. To be beacons of hope in the community, and not for the glory of our church, but to see God and His Son glorified through us. That is why I love and serve so faithfully in my church, because we are a church that exists to help the whole find and follow Jesus. Northstar is a place where everyone is welcome, nobody is perfect and anything is possible. We exist to serve and love not only our God but our fellow neighbors. Northstar is a church that gets it, for me. I am honored and blessed to be apart of it, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us this year in 2013. I am ready to see lives changed, chains broken, and people set free. Until the whole world knows about Jesus, we will not stop doing what we're doing, and to me, that gives me life more abundantly.

Sinful Piety

As a bible college student, I may not know everything there is to know about theology or God's grace just yet, but one thing as a sinner that I am familiar with, is sin itself.

Sin

The very word itself seems to have an ominous resonance to it when you say it. A sort of hushed word that no church-goer wants to hear, thus they whisper it like it's Voldemort from Harry Potter. It's a thing every human being struggles with in their day to day lives. In certain translations, sin literally means "without", or "without God". To sin, is to basically drive a wedge between you and the Father. Sounds depressing doesn't it? To think, that no matter how good you are, how much mass you attend or serve in a ministry, you fail God every single day. Is all hope lost? Are we doomed to be failures for the rest of our sinful little lives? Well, in a sense: yes. Does it stop there? No. You see, in order to embrace God's grace and forgiveness, you must first understand sin. In order to know peace, you must first know chaos. It's a cause and effect relationship. Without chaos, there would just be peace, just as without sin...we wouldn't need Jesus. Now, I'm not saying that sin is of God, because it's very clear in God's word that He hates sin. In fact, sin is what separates us from Him, but in order to know Jesus, we have to know sin. We all know sin, we are born with what is know as "Adamic Blood", which is basically our bloodline that ties us back to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The sins of our father, to put it poetically. Pretty much we are born failures, but thankfully through the blood of Jesus Christ, we are redeemed and given life. To accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are pretty much signing a contract with God, stating that we give Him full ownership of our lives, as He deems fit. To do so, opens up so much more meaning and purpose.

In my own personal life, I have had to deal with very painful things. My mother has mental illness and is fighting depression everyday. My father takes medication to keep his heart working, and has numerous health afflictions. Dad was never home, he was always working making sure that all our bills were paid, because we didn't know if we were going to have our house one month to the next. Mom was always sleeping early because she didn't have the will to move or even live, so she copes by sleeping. My brother, wants nothing to do with me, or my life. For 17 years of my life, I was pretty much by myself. We stopped celebrating the holidays together as a family. This past year, my mother tried to take her own life, and I live with the fear of one day coming home and finding her dead. My dad, has struggled with mental illness in his family for 25 years with his own father, and thought he would never have to deal with it ever again. My home life isn't the worst, but it's not the best either. Why am I sharing all this? Because I have made it my life's goal, to make sure that everyone I meet or come into contact with, meets the God that I serve so that they can know peace and escape pain. So that they don't have to know the pain that I've experienced. I live to see life change. Before I met God, my life was in shambles. I hung out with drug dealers and dope pushers. Done acts that I'm frankly not proud of, and things that I've knelt before God and asked forgiveness for. I've experienced freedom in the murdered Son of God, and I want the whole world to know it too. The day that He found me, was the day that I truly started living. God gave me purpose that I never had, peace that I never knew, and love like I've never experienced.

I will not rest until the lost know Jesus. That is the mission and the promise that I have made to God, and the purpose that He has given me. It breaks my heart that there are people in this world that hurt, when the rest they are looking for is found in a baby in a manger. I'm not perfect because I know Jesus, but God is perfect because He is in me, and through Him I have everlasting joy. We sin every single day, but God is good enough to forgive us every day, because there is nothing on this planet that can ever separate us from His great love. That is the most beautiful thing I have ever come to know. To rest in the fact that no matter what I do, God still chases after me, He believes in me. A curious yet captivating concept to embrace: God believes in me.

"God made everything out of nothing, so while we are still nothing, He can make something out of us" --Martin Luther.